A wank before heading off to work.

Rain's getting me off to a slow start. Need a release before heading out the door.

We Found Love

This song makes me think about how carefree and reckless love can be.  I think about what I have with Trey and I smile.  It's been so easy.  Even during the intense.  I know he loves me.  So I know eventually he will do whatever it takes to make me happy.  But it's not a fucked up thing.  Because I would do the same for him. 



The Requiem for a Dream feel to the video only enhances the free spirit of this song. It makes me want to play, to laugh. Like a kid. One downfall is the bullshit accent Rhi Rhi does in the beginning.

A public service announcement in honor of my return...

it's been awhile, but I got my bottle of vodka I'm planning on shooting straight and a quarter of the finest street green the ghettos of Chicago has to offer.  pants are off, dvr is fired up and I'm gonna enjoy some uninterrupted quality me time.

TGIF BITCHES!!!!

More MMF action. ...or MMMF.

Beat off here!

James Franco's hot, younger brother Dave fucks himself

wouldn't u if u could?

Go F*ck Yourself with Dave Franco from Dave Franco

Am I bi?

I make no excuses for my love of the lesbian melodrama "The L Word".  I think I mentioned popping wood over a sex scene featuring two women.  A little confused I went with it and rubbed one out.  Now I'm watching bi porn to beat off.  There's just something hot about two dudes sharing a girl while going at it themselves.

YouPorn - Frat House Fuck Fest

DC MIDNIGHT MADNESS!!!

http://dcu.blog.dccomics.com/dc-entertainment-events/

The Ex Effect

Jaime invited me over to his place to hang out tonight. It's been almost two months since I've seen him last.  Grabbing a bottle of Jager, smoking some green, and playing some Retro duo while catching up and testing the temperature between us would have been cool.  Unfortunately I already made dinner plans with my sister, Savannah, who I haven't spent any time with in over two weeks due to busy or conflicting schedules and both of us having boyfriends.  I came this close to asking Jaime to join us for dinner tonight but I had already invited Trey and his Asian fag-hag, the awesomely fabulash Dani.  Usually this wouldn't be a issue.  Despite my inner turmoil over whether to continue my friendship with Jaime or not, I don't foresee any problem with Jaime and Trey meeting and hanging out but I have noticed a trend.  Out of the seven friends Trey has met of mine so far, three I have been in some sort of sexual relationship with.  And two are married.  You do the math.  I had to make the same pause earlier this week when Gilberto had us over for one of his "hotel getaways" downtown.  Matt invited me out for a couple drinks and since he recently came back from out of town again I thought it would be cool to invite him.  Another ex.

DCU: The New 52

DC Universe: The Source » DC Comics The New 52

Dirty Soap on E!

Yeah, I'm a little aroused by this.

Abercrombie asks 'Jersey Shore' cast to wear something else - USATODAY.com

Abercrombie asks 'Jersey Shore' cast to wear something else - USATODAY.com

.

I'm not sure who are the bigger douche bags here...Abercrombie or the Jersey Shore.  I hate to admit The Situation is pretty hot if he just stands still and doesn't say anything.  Too bad he's a bad lay from what I read online.  Check out the article by clicking here.

HOLY SHIT SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE ME THESE!!!!

ok, my kryptonite?  sour patch kids.  So you can imagine me creaming my pants when Trey forwarded me this link to a Sour Patch Kids cupcake recipe.  Check it out ...and make me one.

http://www.ingredientsofa20something.com/2011/01/sour-patch-kids-cupcakes.html

The Reality of Dreams...

Earlier this week marked the 11 year anniversary of losing my grandmother to Alzheimer. I really hate using the word "anniversary". It just calls to mind celebrating happy occasions. There's nothing celebratory about the death of one of the most influential women in my life. She meant the world to me. The same day would also have been my grandfather's 97th birthday. He passed away early in the New Year.

Naturally, I find myself thinking about my grandparents now and then. But this past month I've had an unusual number of dreams where their presence has been strangely recurring. I've always thought about keeping a notepad and pen close when I sleep in so I can quickly write down the details of my dreams while they're fresh in my mind but unfortunately never went through with it. I don't remember them clearly but the basic themes of family, betrayal and anger, although the betrayals aren't of my making nor is the anger ever from them. I can't help feeling like I'm missing a message or something. Like I'm being told something. Warned of something, perhaps. These just don't feel like usual random dreams. Especially since it seems an entire nights worth of dreams are either continued one from another with my waking up in between not stopping the storyline, or linked together somehow. And I can't be 100% sure but I don't recall having a dream where both my grandmother and grandfather both present together.

First look: Henry Cavill as Superman

Amy Adams as Lois Lane, Laurence Fishburne as Perry White, Russel Crowe as Jor-El, and Diana Lane as Martha Kent. So far so good. Let's not fuck this one up, Warner Bros.

...whoa

yeah, I don't know what I'd do if confronted with a one eyed monster of this size. probably run the other way. offer to feed it a peanut. whatever as long as he doesnt think i'm gonna be putting that thing in any of my orifices.
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Shook my ass so hard the other night at the club to this!

"Is it supposed to smell like shit in here?" - Slutty Iotis

Quote after curiously entering "The Hole" at a skanky bar the other night.

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testiment of George Harrison

My sister was telling me about this documentary she watched on NetFlix the other night. It's the "supposed" first person narration by George Harrison after being attacked by a crazed fan regarding Paul McCartney's death and cover up. Regardless if it's authentic or not it's an interesting theory with some compelling points.

Know your law people...

This man is my hero. Cops try picking up what looks like his ten year old child but get way more than they bargained for when they're met with an angry, and educated father. Wonder if they would have been so quick to pick up this little kid if he were a white kid.

American ad banned from major networks by Citizens Against Government Waste

This ad was deemed too "controversial" by most major American networks. Why are people so scared of the truth?

Unaired Wonder Woman Pilot

Haven't had a chance to sit down and watch this completely yet but wanted to post it up for others to "enjoy". I hope it's not as bad as everyone is telling me it is.

...and one for the road.

Guess the three times I've ejaculated already today, all by Trey's doing, must have not been enough to curb the urge to rub one out.

We're men, it's what we do.  Though I feel like I may be getting spoiled by the regular good morning/good afternoon/good night blow jobs.  I thought being kinda sore down there from over use may have deterred my desire to get off.  Guess not...

Lazy Sundays

Decided to have a one of my Day without Pants yesterday. Had a pretty busy day running around finding something decent to wear for my uncles 70-something birthday Taconazo (niza, some shit like that). Basically they hired a Mexican to man the grill and serve everyone tacos. Kinda like slavery. This after joining Trey for breakfast and the handicapped pride parade early in the morning. It's things like his going to the handicapped pride parade even though his job didn't mandate that have me so smitten. He wanted to support his clients and employees and friends. I found out he was at Slut Walk this year too. Joined my cousins for some shots, smoked with the douche-in-law, got back home to Trey waiting for me with a bag full of an assortment of candies and as movie. (Insidious. Ugh, what a let down of a potentially great movie.) It was a good night.

Trey and I taking the el in to the handicapped pride parade.

Been just laying about all afternoon after waking up late in the morning holding on to Trey tightly.  We spent the rest of the day in various states of undress, gorging on Sour Patch Kids, Lemon heads, and Star Bursts, and each other and polishing off whatever was leftover of the vodka infused chocolate whip cream from the other night, on each other. Later in the evening we had some greasy food delivered and watched Mommie Dearest and Once Bitten, two of my child hood favorites.  I remember loving movies like Mommie Dearest and Hairspray (the original, and only).  I was drawn to, even though I barely understood enough to know what was going on to Absolutely Fabulous.  How the hell did I not know I was gay till my early twenties?  I used to have the biggest hard on for Jim Carey in Once Bitten.Trey and I both agreed. Best. Danceoff. Ever.

The Walking Dead Season 2 Trailer!!!

The Walking Dead Issue 87

R.I.P. Amy Winehouse... hope there's some crack in heaven for you.

Such a shame. Such a talent gone to waste by addiction.

Next Unlockable MK Character: Freddy Krueger. Fuck. Yes.

I can't even try to tally up the hours I've racked up taking out my frustrations with DJ, Matt, Angelo and other buddies virtually beating one another to bloody pulps and ripping the spines out of one another.  That being said I have no qualms about my unusual obsession with horror movies.  Especially, crappy ones.  My favorite of all time?  A Nightmare On Elm Street, any of them.  Even the godawful Freddy's Dead.  My inner child playing the original Mortal Kombat game and addictively watching and rewatching the Nightmare on Elm Steet series practically experienced a nocturnal emission when I heard Freddy Krueger would be the next character you can download for the new Mortal Kombat game.

                               

Yeah... you wanna shut the fuck up?

Ok, I get it. I see how Matthew Rush is supposed to be all manly and tough but the grunting and "oh yeahs" during this scene are a bit... much. I actually had to mute it in order to finish. Maybe if he tried his regular voice instead of mimicking Macho Man Randy Savage. Either way, lower the volume and enjoy.


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WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO!?!?

What. The FUCK.

After having a conversation earlier this week about Dante and I just being platonic and really enjoying my new found friendship with him I had to eat shit when I slept with him again last night/this morning.

DJ, Dante and I had dinner and drinks after watching the new Harry Potter movie (not a fan of the series but I actually enjoyed this one). Dante and I joked about coming full circle seeing as we met watching the last Harry Potter. After heading to Dante's to give him a chance to freshen up since he met us right after work and a couple pregame drinks, we headed out to a club about 45 minutes outside the city where a friend of DJ's was spinning. It was a great time. Of course DJ wasn't feeling the music, mostly because it wasn't his, and about an hour in he left. Good thing Dante and I know him enough to have thought ahead and took separate cars. Dante and I had a couple more drinks and danced. On the ride back I couldn't help but feel drawn to him. Our arms kinda folded into one another and it wasn't long after we went to bed once we got back to his apartment that we were all over one another.

"I want you."

That was all the encouragement Dante needed.  His head was hungrily in between my ass cheeks, getting me ready.   As soon as he entered me I was reminded of his new piercing.  After drunkenly deciding to myself it wasn't a big deal I gave it a try and quickly, and vocally, decided otherwise.  After Dante removed his piercing we continued but I must have sobered up somewhere during the do cause I remember thinking "What the hell am I doing?" and promptly put on the brakes.  Dante was more than understanding and we even spent most of today together.  We talked about it.  Reassured one another that it was simply an "old habits die hard" type thing and that no feelings are involved here.  We went out for some cheese and bacon for the Gouda mac-n-cheese and burgers he made us for lunch.  When we got off the elevator to the grocery store we heard a loud and echoing "ping".  "That wasn't?" I ask instantly knowing the answer.  I looked down and there was Dante's dick piercing on the floor in front of us.  When I asked him to take it off the night before he lost the ball that closes it and his dick hoop just drops out the bottom of his madras.  At the grocery store.  In front of everybody.

Thanks for the strep, BITCH!

"I'm not contagious anymore," he said.  I didn't think twice about sharing a Flavor Ice with DJ the other day.  I wake up this morning feeling shitty.  Trey feels bad he's not here to take care of me while he's off in Washington on business but he sent me a comic strip he made during a meeting he was supposed to be paying attention to.  It features Slutty, the Strong Lion and Trey the Hipster Dog.

This made my night. Too bad Matt and Alex, who I shared a bowl with and most likely inadvertently passed strep to probably wont feel any better with this. :)

Look but don't touch

Matt came over for some beer, smoke and a PS3 Mortal Kombat tournament. We caught up. I told him about Trey, he told me about his trip. Now, I know it to be habitual for him to show interest in me when I'm preoccupied with someone else (Dante, Ron) but I was a bit surprised by how blantant he was last night.

"I don't even remember what your hard on looks like. I just remember the foreskin is tight around your head."

Now this is on the couch playing video games, legs touching. After he's already taken every chance to show me his new L.A. tan lines. I had to admit. He looked good. Manlier. Newly 21. I got hard. I showed it to him. I didn't expect him to reach for it so quickly. So I put it away and excused myself to the bathroom. "If you don't let me suck your dick now, I'll never do it again," he called out behind me. "You do you," I responded. It's been my mantra lately. Truth is, I feel guilty about even showing Matt my dick. This thing with Trey and I is still so new but he has made it clear he has no interest in dating anyone else right now. Anyone except me. I hate to admit. I feel the same way. I have the butterflies in my stomach when I talk to him. I get that giddy anticipation when I think about him. I feel those sparks when we make the simplest physical contact. Just his elbow brushing up against me while we're on the el heading into downtown for a movie. Or his knee resting against the side of my leg while we're sitting in the sand watching the waves of Lake Michigan crashing in. Kissing him is the best. At first we didn't go all the way because of my lube deficiency, now it's cause we wanted to wait for it to be special. Not against the side of a bathroom stall, or on my couch while we "watched dvds". I really like Trey. He really likes me. I don't want to fuck it up already.

There should be a warning on Vodka Infused Chocolate Whip Cream cans. DO NOT mix with Gin.

Trey and I learned this the hard way.  These look like scat shots.

"You're earning my trust fast and your consistient. You hold me like you mean it. You want me. And you'll let me cry in front of you. You'lltell me things that hurt you and respect me when I say I dont want to do something." Trey

After hearing more and more of Trey's side of the story I'm realizing I'm digging him more and more, and disliking Jason more.  Seems the reason Trey has been estranged from his mother was due to what Jason told her after they broke up, and if it was as one sides and wrong as what he tried to tell me I'm surprised Trey isn't the one to want to inflict bodily harm on Jason.  

Movie recommendation: Twelve

"I feel my body is in focus as he touches me. And I should go but I can't overcome this chemistry." Britney

Here are a couple songs I'm currently obsessed with including a slowed down more romantic version of the hidden track off of Britney Spears Femme Fatale album, He About To Lose Me and mashups of "On the Floor" by Jennifer "JLO-ration" Lopez vs. "Stereo Love" which both sample the song that made public humping acceptable, the 80's Lambada sensation by Kaoma; and Britney's "Till the World Ends vs. Adele's Rolling in the Deep, which syncs up quite awesomely. En-yoy.

Second friend to "break up" with me in less than a month. I'm starting to get a complex here, guys.

I've been actively flirting with Trey for a couple of weeks now.  We hung out a couple times.  Watched some tv and ordered late night delivery.  It's early.  We're still in the getting to know one another stage but I'm seeing potential early on.  We've been meshing so well.  He's so chill, has a lot of the same interests as I do.  He's a case worker for a non for profit that works with people with special needs who may not be able to or have no one to help them go shopping and household chores.  Considering my past working at the high school with the specialized services department I was instantly smitten by that.  Adorable in a very non cocky way, though he admits he knows just how hot he really is.  He's manly, but not scared to express how he feels.  Something, I've been known to have issues with myself.  The emotional sharing.  It's just not me.  I'm not up for the big public displays of affection. But with Trey it's been different.  He handed me a cigarette while we waited for the light to change during a walk downtown.  But instead of taking it with my hand, I leaned over and took it with my mouth.  It felt natural and it wasn't until he lit it for me that I even thought to look to see if anyone was watching.  I also realized I didn't care if there was.

This being said.

Watching internet porn wit Jose

The human swing these guys perform at time stamp 8:07 is inspiring.  I especially like when they drop the guy on the bed as soon as there's no further need for him.  Good find Jose.


two muscle studs dominate skater twink brought to you by PornHub

WHAT?!?

It's a travesty this monster who so obviously was responsible for the death of her two year old child gets to go free. Something is obviously not 100% with the American judicial system. Let's help make a change. There's a petition to make it a crime to not report a missing child. Too bad this wasn't done sooner.

Sign the petition here.

Happy Fucking 4th of July

Saying it's been an interesting holiday weekend would be an understatement. Oh, the homosexual dramatics were running rampant. Where to begin? Jaime picking a fight with me about my annoyance with him over him lying about his interest in The Child. I repeatedly told him this wasn't the time nor place to discuss it but he continued to press until I had to push him away from me. Or the scene Jaime made at the bar the other night when he blew up at The Retard who decided to get under his skin after having to see his ex-boyfriend with his new man-child. Resulting in broken glasses, spilled pitchers and The Retard violently shoving China, who was trying to console him, and walking home crying. Fucking queers. Then there was the young gang banger I met at a holiday bon fire kegger who followed me up stairs. ;) Then there was China getting her/his second DUI. Fucking dumbass. Polish got chocked out by his straight twin brother and then broke up with The Other Pollack for not having his back. How gangsta. Here's the best one: SOMEONE cut Jaime's brake line while we were picking up his mother after their family's BBQ. Someone. I'm gonna kick that deaf-in-one ear mother fucker's ass when I get my hands on him.

Convenient timing or what?

So I hear from DJ the other day asking me if I would like to get together and talk.  He misses me and feels like he has worked his way past his feelings for Jose and my friendship with him.  I was wary at first, still kinda feeling the sting of betrayal over the whole experience but I decided to give it a try.  Today I get a message from DJ asking me for a favor.  His mother needs someone to pick her up after surgery and to sit with her till he gets out of work.  My first instinct: of course.  Despite our past differences, DJ's mother did a lot for me during the time I lived with them while I was still with DJ.  DJ has also always gone above and beyond for me.  But then I thought about it.  Is this the only reason he decided I was once again worthy of his friendship?  I already said I'd do it but as I'm waiting here for Jaime to pick me up to go out I'm kinda starting to think it wouldn't be too difficult to get out of doing.  Decisions, decisions.

Insomnia's a cunt

Guess I got some shit weighing on my mind.  Can't go to sleep.  I've beaten myself off raw, I've tried watching Inception, which usually has me knocked out fifteen minutes in.  I saw that dude Trey online so I chatted him up for a bit.  We ended up talking till about 3 am but he had to go to bed cause he had to be at work early.  Seems like a cool guy.  I'm interested in getting to know more.  Flirted online with two other guys for a bit but neither really caught my attention.  A blow job at the most.  Talked to Jaime for a bit.  As usual we just ignore our last disagreement and pretend everything is ok till it just is.  Really getting tired of that dance.  Sometimes I think I've outgrown Jaime.  Like fucking and fighting and being friends for the past ten years may have been enough for me.  Maybe I learned the lessons he was brought into my life to teach me already and it's time to move on.  A season.  Not a lifetime.  My mind is too groggy to think this deeply about things.  I'm gonna try beating off one more time then I'm dosing myself with Nyquil.

"I'm gonna celebrate pride by sucking all the dicks I can today." Slutty Iotis

Bought to head out for the Gay Pride Parade.  I was thinking of skipping it this year cause I had no interest in joining Jaime and the Glitterati for any drama that would no doubtly ensue.  It always does with them.  Fuck it, waiting for some buddies to pick up, gonna get scummy at the parade, then head to the beach and theres a party in a condo overlooking the parade I may check out.  Good times.  Go homos!

Proof of how sneaky cats really are.

Getting ready for a "working interveiw"

I found myself frantically reaching to switch the radio or Pandora station whenever they decided to play Adele's Rolling in the Deep, which became quite frequent during my spirit journey.  But it's good to see an artist getting attention for her actual talent and not for showing off her tits and ass.

"You ruined your beautiful penis!!!" - Slutty Iotis

I met up with Dante for dinner and ice cream yesterday. Afterwards we played on the playground near his apartment and caught up with one another. It was nice. I almost forgot about how much I once cared about him. The conversation flowed just as easily as it did when we first started dating. He kept trying to bust me out how boring I found listening to him go on and on about working at his new campus. I told him he couldn't be more wrong. Dante still manages to fascinate me. There's just something about him. We went back to his place where I tried my best to make interaction with The Leprechaun, Jason's ex and Dante's room mate, as awkwardless as possible. Watched Way of the Gun on Netflix and downed the leftover Hooter's hot wings from earlier. Way of the Gun. Best opening scene of all-time. Sarah Silverman as the hot cunt.

Green Lantern over Homosexual drama

I've been wondering for some time lately whether being Jaime's friend is worth some of the unnecessary drama he brings into my life.  It feels like anytime we're doing something out of the usual sitting in the man cave getting high, playing video games, and drinking there's some kind of bullshit involved.

Like yesterday.  From the moment I saw him he was being a pissy douche bag cause he had a bad day at work.  Then when we went to pregame it at China's before watching the Green Lantern movie he copped an attitude because I had the audacity to run off ahead of him cause I had to take a leak.  What's worse, when China walked away to open the door to let the 19 year old child Jaime's been seeing since before I left on my spirit journey, Jaime decides to catch me up on his desire to just be friend's with the guy.  Quickly adding he wishes he would have come to that conclusion before sleeping with him.  Whatever.  I'm not bothered either way.  Jaime and I are just friends now.  We can see who we want to.  But be fucking honest at least.  The child didn't seem to get the memo on just being friends with Jaime cause he was all over him, pretty desperately.  Jaime didn't do anything to discourage him either.  My thing is, why fucking go to the trouble of telling me something that isn't true.  The whole thing rang way to familiar considering our past with The Retard.  I feel like maybe it's time to cut my loses.  We had fun while it lasted but being friends for ten years isn't necessarily a good enough reason to remain friends.

Happy father's day,Buelo

It's too late to tell my grandfather what he meant to me.  My family lost him earlier this year.  I'll never get the chance to tell him how he along with my godfather and uncle were the father's I needed growing up when my own fell short.  Which was pretty often.  I love you, Buelo.  Give my Buela a kiss for me.

It's like Sex and the City. Only blacker.

Jaime and my sister Santana were over last night hanging out.  We watched a couple of movies, had some pizza.  Jaime and I smoked, downed a cheap 30 pack and played vintage arcade games on his lap top using a new emulator he downloaded recently.  Santana took advantage of our bro-time and my on demand and caught up with her vagina-tv.

After a couple hours of tuning out shit like Basketball Wives and Oprah: Behind the Music, the comedic overacting of Stacy Dash and the rest of the extremely good looking cast of VH1's new show, Single Ladies.

Here's the premise.  Clueless'es Dionne and Cher (now on her third recast) sell Brittany "Tai" Murphy  some bad shit at a Cougar Convention and she ends up dead.  They go on the run, change their names and move to Hotlanta where they befriend stripper turned video hoe thief Diamond from the Players Club.  She's on the run herself for stealing Ice Cube's street cred.  Best part?  They're slutty as shit!

Single Ladies - Christina Carter - Keisha Greene - Valerie Stokes

Did he REALLY just "break up" with me?

Had an interesting conversation with DeeJay earlier. It seems due to my "blossoming friendship" with his ex-Jose, I've somehow become a reminder of his heart ache and needs to "take a break" from us. 

...

What. THE FUCK?!?

Straight College Boys. Making me cum since I was twelve.

Men from 'Straight College Men' in gay-for-pay scenes. brought to you by PornHub

The young man in timestamp 10:44 is incorporating a move I like to call "The Multi-Tasker". Good show.

Mutant and Proud!

Please allow me to geek the fuck out for a moment. X-Men: First Class WAS THE SHIT! I'm gonna try my best to hold off on the spoilers but I'm not making any promises so don't read any further if you don't want to hold off knowing key plot points till you actually watch the movie.

Everything was great about this movie. Even the cheesy little moments; "Mutant and proud!" worked. Cameos by Hugh Jackman (Wolverine) and Rebecca Romaine (was she still Stamos'ed at the time? Original Mystique) were nice touches. I also liked how they incorporated random comic characters into the movie mythology. I really liked Angel, who came to life during Grant Morrison's run on X-Men. I liked this former stripper turned traitor incarnation. One thing that bothered me, Darwin? Really? He was so obscure I had to google him to find out if the character was created solely for the film. He wasn't.

Even the glaring changes that inevitably happen when comics aked this former stripper turned traitor incarnation. One thing that bothered me, Darwin? Really? He was so obscure I had to google him to find out if the character was created solely for the film. He wasn't.

Even the glaring changes that inevitably happen when comics are transferred to film, the thing that usually bothers me the most, I liked in this movie. The WTF!?! early connection between Mystique and Xavier.  Havok being the older summer's brother.  A gunfight between Moira and Magneto being the reason for Xavier's paralysis.  Mystique's blood being the cause of Beast's transformation!  No spoilers my ass! :)

This was a great follow up to the third movie and we can only hope we get more like this.

DeeJay: I have these new power bars. Lots of protein. Slutty: I take a mouthful of jizz at least once a week. My protein intake is fine.

I've made it a point to reconnect with good friends as much as possible since my return to Chicago.  Spent the evening with my good buddy DeeJay.  We played video games, watched movies, caught up on some shows I missed while I was on the road and caught up with one another over pizza and "potpourri".   

The last time I spoke to DeeJay it didn't go so smoothly.  I was on the farm in Virginia on my spirit journey.and I had just come back from smoking some loud on a mountain in Maryland after hiking up it for over two hours to see a breathtakingly serene  waterfall.  I was zen.  Minimal distraction.  I hadn't blogged in weeks, I barely spoke to anyone back home.  It was just me and my thoughts.  No outside influence.  So when I talked to DeeJay and he was just going on and on and on about what an asshole Jose was for doing what it was he did to him and how he hates him for it, I tried steering the conversation to a more positive light.  I took a more "I Will Survive" approach when all he wanted to do was vent.  I just wasn't the right person to vent to at the moment.  He got annoyed, and whined I wasn't the right person to talk to about this.  I agreed and sincerely wished him luck in finding that person and didn't think about it again until today.  I think he took the tiniest bit of joy in telling me he called Dante afterwards and vented successfully to him.

DC may have just redeemed itself after the travesty that was All-Star Superman

Fuckin Poozers!!!!  After the abortion on film that was All Star Superman, I was a little wary of the newest installment in the DC animation series:  Green Lantern: Emerald Knights.  Glad to say this is one of the best in the entire collection.  In my opinion it's the anthology of various stories interwoven I wish Batman:  Gotham Knights should have been.  Nathan Fillion (Wonder Woman Animated Movie, Desperate Housewives, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) returns to voice another DC character, this time Green Lantern Hal Jordan.  Former wrestler Roddy Piper joins Kelly Hu (X-men) Elizabeth Moss (Madman) and Henry Rollins as Kilawog (wog, wog).  This is a definite buyer and a keeper.

*scratching head* is this a step forward or backwards for gay rights?

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Speaking of gay, rugby bukkake...

Rugby Gay Bukkake?  Sounds like a category I've searched for on xtube.  It's also a "video game" along the lines of Dance Dance Revolution where instead of matching up button hits to the beat of a song, your matching them to the beat your jerking off your virtual gentleman caller.  And what's the, ahem, payoff (ha!) you ask? You get to bust your virtual load all over pervy cartoons.

Coke heads, coke heads, roly poly coke heads...

I had a talk with Markie today.  I asked him if he wanted to come over to my place and party in the future to not bring Abe over anymore.  I just can't take what a hype he's turned into and how he always manages to argue with Markie over who's turn it is to bust out a few lines for everyone or when he feels Markie isn't dishing out the coke quick enough for him.  The last straw was the other day when Markie and Abe came over to share some bumps and beers.  My buddy Byron and his fiance happened to stop by as well and I could tell how annoyed Abe was at having to wait for his next line the whole time they were there.  When I returned after excusing myself for the bathroom Markie and Abe were gone.  No goodbye.  No explanation, though I knew exactly why they left.

Next time I brought it up to Markie after giving him the cold shoulder for a couple days he told me ABe started pressing him to leave as soon as I walked out the room.  Fucking crack head.  I told Markie I don't need or want people like that in my life.

Is it just me?

I find myself discreetly bringing the fingers I used on him the night before to my face numerous times throughout the day so I can smell him again.  I've been hard most of the day remembering what it was like to be inside him.  I'm getting aroused all over again as we speak. 

one good whank deserves another

oh, to beat off in my own bed again.

Gay Couple Fuckin brought to you by PornHub

KER-SMASH!

not that I hate Conan O'Brien for being a soulless ginger, but I still couldn't care less about that whole  Team CoCo thing.  My good friend, Kitty played these parodies of the movie Thor where he questions if the casting for title role was correct, during our impromptu bitchfest today. HIGHlarious.

Iiiiiii'm baaaaaack!

Landed in Chicago this morning and was met with almost 100 degrees weather.  Had to take off the hoodie I put on to counteract the low 60's on the drive to Regan Airport in Washington DC.  By late afternoon we had a torrential downpour along with heavy thunder and lighting which gave way to low-70's.  Yeah.  I'm home.

SlutWalk Chicago: Organizer Jessica Skolnik Discusses Event's 'Critical Message'

SlutWalk Chicago: Organizer Jessica Skolnik Discusses Event's 'Critical Message'

....where are all the zombies?

bitchy arabian bears aren't the best morning people

Let me start off by saying I love Jason.  I think he has a good heart and I'm so thankful to be given the opportunity to see the country, and meet cool and interesting people.

I'm a pretty laid back, chill guy.  When things bother me I can usually just let it roll off my back.  I internalize and move on.  Usually.  There are certain personality traits and characteristics I just can't deal with.

I can't help taking notice of particular behavioral patterns my road trip partner displays at times.

faggot, faggot, faggot

Mindless Self Indulgence - Pussy All Night (live) by Deathpleasure2

Moving on. It's a two way street.

I've noticed Jason's been dropping an excessive amount of hints to try and lure me into a conversation about Dante.  I've ignored it on the most part.  I just have no interest in a third party opinion on my failed relationship.  But when I went out for a cigarette after Wii and wine with Jason's new room mate last night, I couldn't help over hearing a conversation between Jason and Dante.  Couldn't help mostly because Jason felt the need to put the conversation on speaker phone when he noticed me.

A drive through Washington, DC

Useless stoner fact: The Simple Life Edition

Did yDid you know that eggs you buy in the grocery store are at least 30 days old.  ...I don't like the way that rooster looks at me whenever I go into the hen house to get the eggs.

HAPPY SMOTHERS DAY!!!!

Real Life Mario Bros.

quickie...Ugly Babies | Life | Sabotage Times

Ugly Babies | Life | Sabotage Times

Video Animation of Bin Laden's final moments.

MMM, Jason Bateman's taint

Check out Bateman's freckly taint in the trailer for The Change Up, a gross out man's version of Freaky Friday.

...another AI related post? Fuck you, I still aint watching. Have some Forbidden Dance with your cock shots

Check out former American Idol contestant Jordin Spark's boyfriend's dick.  Good going, big girl.  It's your world.  Too bad these pics came from some tramp claiming to have recently tasted the goods herself.  *whore cough.

I am SO wet

American Idol can suck my dick but I came across these sexts of current season contestant Jovany Barreto so I googled him.  His performance of Jon Secada's "Angel" gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.  But then, everything has been lately.  I'm such a pussy.

...Can I breathe yet?

Spent most of the morning laying about, four to China's cramped, twin sized bed.  Polish at the head to my foot of the bed, Jaime besides me.  Nursing various stages of hang overs with Red bulls, cigarettes and bacon sandwiches we watched black women empowerment films on cable. 

inappropriate thoughts...

Sometimes when I'm taking care of a morning rager my mind begins to wander.  I find myself thinking about a certain guy I have no business saving to the spank bank.  Though he is younger it's not so much the age difference that bothers me but the inappropriateness of who he is.  But one can't help the fantasies I guess.  I keep thinking about his long, fat cock swinging behind loose basketball shorts, the outline clearly visible.  His long, hairy legs hairy, slender yet strong poking out.  I imagine those legs wrapped around my head as I service him.  That flat, stomach with the thin patch of dark course hair starting at the bottom of his navel and hiding underneath the elastic waistband of those boxer briefs he loves prancing around in.  Almost like he knows what he's doing.  That tight little ass I would have him begging me to fuck once I eat it till he can't take it anymore.  Pressing his huge feet against my chest as I plow into him.  ....you'll have to excuse me for a moment.

X-onked Out

Dante's best friend and psuedo-roommate, Jason came over last night after driving back in to the city from Tennessee.  He wanted to hang out since this will be his last weekend in town now that his Washington apartment's ready.  We had a good time.  Watched some movies, smoked some pot and ordered a shit load of food.  Jason's boyfriend, The Leprechaun joined us as well.  I was glad they came by.  Jason's a good guy and I'm glad we're boys regardless if I'm talking to Dante or not.

But it looks like I'm not the only one Dante's been rubbing the wrong way.  Jason was openly appreciative for the break from his "brother".  I saw that one coming a mile away.  I still don't understand how Dante agreed to, even suggested The Leprechaun move into his spare room.  I'm almost thankful I wont be around to see that implode.  



of course we got into the topic of what happened between Dante and I.  I don't make it a habit to ex-bash but I did offer up my side of the story,  Jason made it a point to let me know how different my side was from Dante's.  Whatever.  I don't think anyone's lying here.  We just have two different ways of looking at things.

Coming back from a bathroom break I overheard Jason tell The Leprechaun I was gonna be asking "Dante who" once the four Xanax's he popped into my mouth kick in.  There are certain assets in having crazy friends.  They get the best drugs.  I told them I've been like "Dante who?" for weeks now, only slightly feeling the numbing tingling in my limbs.

What the hell is up with my just opening my mouth and taking whatever pills people want to put things in my mouth?  Hmm. 

it's been awhile. saluting the one eyed salami.

Old Journal Entry dated july 28, 2009

He’s taken by surprise by the swollen and battered face he sees judging him through the mirror. Black blood has dried and crusted over from several lacerations barely visible over the dark purpling lesions budding from the bridge of his nose and slowly flowering over and under both eyes. His head hurt to the touch, various portions of his skull throbbing with a stabbing pain from a size eleven men’s flip flop being rammed against it several times.

His flip flop.

His eyes begin to well for the first time since waking up from what he had hoped was a horrible nightmare. Sharp pains in his side suggest another few bruised ribs, nothing new. It hurt like hell but he was positive nothing hurt enough to be cause for serious concern or require the medical attention he couldn’t afford either way. Noticing the oddly darker than usual flesh making up his ear he reaches to touch it but only flinches at the pain in his swollen right hand. Checking his ear canal for blood he remembers having to resort to punching him several times in an attempt to snap him out of his vicious rage.

A heart to heart between besties....

Jaime and I split a bottle of Jager last night and got pretty smashed.  Still pretty down about things he got emotional early on.  He began apologizing for that ugly incident after the boat party a couple summers ago.  We started talking specifics.  It never crossed into getting heated but it was obvious we both still have a lot of feelings about things in our past.

He kept hugging me, he kept telling me he loved me.  But it's hard to accept things at face value sometimes when those same actions were once used to manipulate.  I guess I can take some kind of solace in Jaime actually admitting to it now.  How it wasn't as one sided as he makes it out at times.  How he was just as responsible for the imaginary tether as I was.  We both practically held each other hostage in fear of losing the other.

It all stemmed from an ugly incident his father cause during his birthday celebration.  Jaime said he didn't want to be anything like his father.  He didn't want to do these horrible things and say these horrible things and then pretend he never did.  He says he feels like I let him off the hook way too easily sometimes.  I didn't know what to say.  Agree with him?  Sometimes I do.  But then where would that leave my friendship with him?

i want his penis near or around my mouth... part 2

yeah. i know. you're welcome

happy easter fuckers

Sometimes it takes your heart time to figure out what your brain already knows.

Yeah. Dante and I? So. FUCKING. over.

I was feeling down the other night. After a high ride with a buddy I just had a lot on my mind.  My job search remains pretty bleak.  I haven't had many good leads lately.  What's worse is I feel like I've been unemployed so long I lost my swagger.  I was the kind of guy who would walk into an interview dripping with confidence.  I was in the mind set these people needed me way more than I needed them, and it showed.  Now I'm wondering if my desperation is permeating through my pores.  I feel the pressure.  There's so much riding on me.  Guess I just needed someone to talk to.

I should have done what I usually do.  Blog.  I vent uninterrupted without exposing any weaknesses and no body has to listen to me bitch and whine about how life sucks.  Win/wins all around.  I had a little more than just my unemployment bothering me. Regardless what I tell people all this back and forth with Dante lately is weighing on me more than I let on.  Figured I'd kill two birds with one stone.  Get things off my chest and talk to Dante.

My mistake.

Jensen Ackles can sit on my face!!!!!!

I've had the biggest hard on for Jensen Ackles since I first saw him on Days of our Lives as Sami Brady's long lost twin brother, Eric.  I followed him into Dark Angel, which I still thank for the shirtless fight club scenes and now I watch Supernatural for all the wrong reasons.

Bruno Mars: Making grown ass men cry like pussies since 2010

I need to start following football more.

NFL Viking Ray Edwards has been doing some sexting lately.  I have to wonder, based on the man-panties Edwards is sporting and the double titty clamp, whether the recipient of these picture messages was a guy or girl.  Those short shorts are rather homo erotic.

YUM-MIE

Partied a little hard last night making my holiday runs. It's been a slow afternoon, haven't done much of anything but watch my stories and catch up on The Walking Dead and DC's Brightest Day.



So I'm checking out a couple blogs I frequent when I came across my baby daddy on Deliciously Queer & Sinful.



I wanna wrap my arms around this guys waist and be his belt FOREVER. My head his buckle and my mouth his cock sock. Bitch, I will trip my mother down some stairs to get at that. Check out Ben Godfre's pictorial for Timoteo at Deliciously Queer & Sinful. Tell em Slutty sent you. And keep your goddamn hands off MY MAN!!!!

Morning wood

HAPPY 420 BITCHES!!!!

Check out the twit pic stoner guru Snoop Dog posted on his twitter account to show how he commemorates such a glorious day.

In honor, and taking Snoop's lead I'm gonna sit back, smoke this q of g, eat these wangs and drink this box of wine and watch some of my favorite stoner movies of all time.  Puff, puff... PASS!






Check out a pictorial of various smoking celebs from TMZ here.

Reconnect?

Spent the last couple days at Dante's.  It's been nice.  We've been getting close again.  Real close.  Really, really close. ;)  After an initial moment of awkwardness where we were both feeling the situation out it didn't take long for us to fall back into our usual pattern.  It felt good to hold him in my arms again.

I was planning on making a quick exit after spending the night the first morning but since Jason's been staying with him while things are prepared for his relocation for work to Washington he got a hold of me early on.  We hung out, made a big breakfast, watched some movies.  Next thing I know while trying to lure Dante back to his apartment for an "afternoon delight" I ended up agreeing to stay for dinner again.

Afterwards Jason and the Leprechaun made it a point to give us some alone time which we took full advantage of.  It was nice of them to consider us like that, but it still took a little getting used to having so many people in Dante's apartment.  

I know he was having a hard time dealing with having his parents visiting, especially since he quit all his anti-anxiety medication cold turkey shortly before.  I remembered how much he told me my presence helped relieve the stress during his trip back home during last New Years.  I wished I could have been there for him like that again.  Unfortunately I think I'm more of a source of stress in his life at the moment.  What's really confusing me is Dante offering The Leprechaun his spare room.  

Knowing how Dante is I made sure to clean up the place a bit before he got home from work.  But Jason didn't life a finger, not even to clean up after himself.  Even The Leprechaun's crap was everywhere.  I want to tell Dante to think about it but I don't think we're quite there for me to start throwing out opinions like that.  I understand he wants to help his friend get out of a fag and his hag living situation gone tragic but Dante has been going on and on about getting his place back to his self when this string of visitations ends.  Why jump into another roommate situation?  I don't know.  I'm really starting to take note on the differences between what Dante says and what he does.

OH!  AND EWW! Look what I stumbled upon while cleaning up the place a bit.  I don't even know what this is?!?

The problem with Jaime and I

Jaime was pretty down while I was talking to him the other night.  Understandably so.  Ugly breakup with his retard of a boyfriend.  Issues at home and with his money situation.  And to already kick a dog when he's down his family planned to get him a cake and sing Happy Birthday to him while his father and brothers were all home.  While out shopping for groceries the idea must have slipped their mind.  Excitedly Jaime rummaged through the bags wondering what kind of cake they got him and came up with nothing.  They forgot.  Poor kid.  He felt guilty about letting it get to him.  "I'm gonna be twenty five years old," he pointed out trying to make himself feel better.  "It's not even my birthday yet."

Of course my inclination to want to protect him, to want to make him feel better kicked in.  Jaime was a bit tipsy.  He downed a couple rum and cokes after work and began to drunkenly tell me how he tries to be a good person but he's really not.

It was like something clicked in my brain.  I agreed with my best friend, silently to not further salt any wounds.  I love Jaime, but is he really a good person?  He can be self centered and selfish, manipulative and not very honest, especially when he's trying to prove his "innocence".  "Can be."  In the right situation can't we all? 

Slutty: "MaryKate?" Jaime: "Yes Ashley?" Slutty: "Have you ever noticed we somehow manage to unknowingly match clothes with each other in most of the pictures we've ever taken together?"  Jaime:  "Great minds."

Stoner Movie Review: Scream 4, or Scre4m (lame!)

warning: So disappointed I'm going to spoil the fuck out of this bitch!

I had long standing plans to watch Scream 4 with Jaime. We were both pretty excited but of course, as do all our plans they were subject to change and we ended out drinking with the boys instead. So instead I ended up with Jason driving out to a theater in Skokie to see it the day.

Disclaimer....

I noticed my blog has been searched specifically by name recently.  I think in light of recent events a little paranoia is warranted.  Have I been found out?  An innocent reader perhaps?  A spiteful ex or someone looking for a little revenge?

I'm the type of guy who doesn't talk shit.  If I have something to say I will say it to your face, as long as I have a reason to.  I don't just go around looking for confrontation or ways to hurt people's feelings.  These are my personal thoughts and feelings.  Maybe I had a thought at the moment that I didn't feel the need to say out loud.  I am a firm believer of measuring a man by not only his words but by what he doesn't say.  Sometimes I need to work things out in my head.  I find it easier, and more productive to work out my issues internally before I decide how to proceed with others.  I try my best to respect other's privacy and not put out too much of their business but sometimes in telling the story it can't be helped.

Either way, whether it be my narcissistic need to have my written words read by strangers that brought me here.  Or maybe this is just an outlet where I can deal with the stresses of my life without having to expose my personal feelings and inner most thoughts... well at least not to my closest friends and family.  Maybe this is just a way for me to practice my writing and everything and one written about in this blog is made up.  A figment of my imagination.  Whatever.  Just sit back and enjoy the fucken show bitches.  :)

Cure for Coulrophobia? Fuck a clown.

Settling in for the night with a glass of wine and one of my favorite cheesey B movies from my childhood, Killer Klowns from Outer Space.



I really should text that guy from Ohio I met over Halloween weekend last year while bar hopping with some buddies.  I was dressed as a Christian who doesn't acknowledge pagan holidays, i.e. no costume.  I'm at Hydrate getting my round of drinks at the bar when I turn around and literally bounce my head off this guy's chest.  I look up at the full masked and gloved Killer Klown from Outer Space.  I yelped like a school girl and rushed away from the terrifying sight.  Later that night at another bar, I'm walking out the bathroom and again come face to chest with it.  He extends a clawed cartoonishly large hand and I can hear the muffled "hello" from behind the mask.  I'm about to run back into the bathroom when he pulls off the mask and I see a slightly freckled, chisel-faced, corn fed farm boy.  Fucking hot.  He introduces himself and offers to buy me a drink to make up for scaring me again.  I accept.  We end up at a party his friend's, who he's in town visiting, are throwing in their condo overlooking Boystown.  His friends aren't having me.  It's obvious they were expecting more attention from the hot farmboy.  Sensing the tension he invites me back to his hotel room in downtown where we raided the mini bar. It was hot.  We flip flop fucked like animals and took shots in between, sometimes during, until we collapsed into a sweaty heap and passed out limbs interlocked but not exactly holding.  We woke up the next morning, ordered room service and made plans to meet later at the parade.  I meant to write him as soon as I arrived at the parade.  But then the Puerto Rican kid in the baseball uniform caught my eye.

A self examination

I'm.  Fucking.  Bored.  And not the menial "don't have anything to do at the moment" kinda boredom.  I'm bored with this existence.

I woke up feeling restless this morning.  A longing in myself.  Something missing.  Not that it was ever there to begin with.  Maybe the desire for change is what's different, what's new.  I'm tired of being this person I've become.  Smile and nod politely?  Since fucking when?  Why do I feel neutered?  What happened to my bite?  Why do I feel empty?  I want to feel something real.  I want to be a part of something tangible.  A biological clock finally kicking in after more than my share of stolen adolescence?  I hope not.  Is this destruction in my soul just my way of revolting against this tedious averageness?  I want to destroy.  Am I just angry?  This darkness has always been just below the surface.  The violence.  I want to punch.  I want to make something bleed.  Someone.  Barely even matters who.  Why am I so angry?

Lil Bow Wow takes it up the arse?

I feel a little dirty when I see Lil Bow Wow all grown up and looking hot.  I'm a little late on this but I recently came across a picture supposedly leaked by a spurned lover showing Bow Wow taking it up the poop shoot.

I wasn't able to find any further information online and a lot of people where pointing out the lack of a tattoo on his upper arm so most likely it's a fake.  But a boy can dream.

Bro code among the gays? Can't we all just get along?

All these failed relationships around me.  Jaime and The Retard.  Deejay and Jose.  Polish and Saul.  Dante and I.

I can't help thinking finding the common denominator in all of this.  Is my own bad luck in the matters of the heart bleeding onto those around  me?  Am I a jinx?

Let me break down this whole tawdry wanna be soap opera for anyone late to the show.  Jaime and I have been best friends w. benefits for over ten years now after he lied to me and told me he was 18 to my 23.  By the time I found out he was only 15 he had already integrated himself into my life, my friends and most unfortunately, my heart.  Polish was Jaime's childhood friend and first boyfriend.  The Retard and Polish once dated and had evolved into best friends when the whole unfortunate mess began between The Retard and Jaime, despite everything Polish and I did in our power to keep them apart.  Polish and The Retard end up on the outs due to the relationship.  Jaime and I end up on the outs due to the relationship.  Polish and I form an unspoken alliance, knowing our friendship was a sore spot for The Retard and Jaime.  Polish and I mess around after I turn to him after a heated argument with Jaime.  Never one to allow himself to be put in the back seat when it comes to me, Jaime once again (and far from the last time) forces himself back into my life and we grow close once again.  Jaime and I begin cheating on The Retard as Polish starts dating Saul who also doesn't care for The Retard.  Polish and Saul attempt to use me to torture The Retard but I bow out of all the bullshit deciding my friendship with Jaime is more important than any of the faggotry.  The Retard hates me and does stupid Mean Girl  shit to continue being no more than a steady nuisance in my life as he does with Polish.  Polish and Saul are on the outs and Polish is deported to Poland to deal with citizenship issues.  Saul and I hang out and end up messing around.  Looks like Polish and Saul weren't as over as he led me to believe and Polish returns and finds out about his boyfriend and I.  To this day he never questions me nor retaliates.  Still waiting for that one to come up but now that Polish has finally broken up with Saul he seems to have no problem using his new friendship with me to piss him off.  Jaime and I once again grow closer as his relationship with The Retard goes downhill and in a last ditch effort to maintain some kind of hold of Jaime, The Retard pathetically attempt to be my friend.  Isn't it strange now that The Retard's out of the picture Jaime, Polish, I and even China have had no problems getting along.

he about to lose...bout to lose...bout to lose me

Jaime and I shared a strange moment the other day while he was force feeding me Britney's new cd in his car the other day.  This song was playing and we had been smoking so being silly I grab his hand and passionately sing the lyrics right after her like I knew them all along and before I knew it I looked him in the eye, holding his hand and sang him, "I'm touching hands with someone seriously beautiful."

We kinda looked at each other and turned away embarrassed and pretended nothing happened.

"What the hell's wrong with you, Slutty? You've been on your rag all month?" Polish

I found myself crying on two seperate occasions today.  I say I'm over things.  I put on a strong resolve and my stone face.



 This song played while I was cooking steaks for dinner during a The Hills marathon with my DVR, a biore nose pad and my apricot face scrub.  Hey, every now and then u gotta bitch out.  I remember going grocery shopping with Dante and this song was stuck in my head so I started singing it and got it stuck in his head and we spent the entire car ride home trying to get the video to play on his phone.  It made me think of happier times.  When things were simple between Dante and I.  I still don't understand where it got so twisted.  I'm crying now.

I told Dante I want to concentrate more on moving on and being friends than dwelling on what went wrong between us.  I don't know how true that statement is but it's probably the best thing to do for the both of us.



I saw this video on another blog I check out of a guy who learned sign language for his boy friend who is really immersed in the deaf community earlier and again, the tears came.  Bah.  My vagina's showing.

Dammit Dante!

So I'm trying to at least have at least a chapter ready to trade works with Kitty by the end of the week for our writer's circle jerk when I get a message from Dante.  I do the polite small talk thing. "How are you?"  "What's new?"

Now, someone asks me: "How are you?"  I reply: "Fine, thank you.  You?"

Not Dante.  The flood gates opened and forward spewed an onslaught of Dante's stressings over nothing.  I understand.  He has a lot on his plate.  He's stopped taking his meds for his anxiety cold turkey.  His parent's are in town this week.  Dante told me during our trip to visit his family for this past New Year's a close proximity to his parent's were always a source of stress.  Jason's staying with him this month as well, to be close to The Leprechaun before his relocation to D.C. for work.  He's also decided to cut ties with his friends back in Miami, including his ex and best friend, saying it's too painful to have to hear about them living their lives without him.

Dante told me he was lonely, even though there are at least four extra people in his apartment at the moment.  He then said he feels him and I still have some "air to clear".

"Go ahead if you feel the need to," I told him.  "But I'm really in no mood to listen to you're laundry list of what you believe are my flaws."

He pretty much shut down after that and we agreed to talk some other time about this when he's not at work.

I know I told him I wanted to reexamine this thing between us when I have my life in more control and have it in me to concentrate on someone else but I almost forgot how exhausting he can be.  All the examining and reexamining the most minute details.... ugh.  So not me.

Attempting to change the subject I filled him in on the drama with The Retard.  I think some of the sordid details of the convulted past between Jaime, The Retard, and I kinda bothered him.  Although I previously gave him the cliff notes on the subject while we were dating I never went into the details.

I don't know.  I just feel like as great of a guy as Dante is anything between us more than friendship will just end badly.  Mostly due to his inability to just chill the fuck out.