Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A heart to heart between besties....

Jaime and I split a bottle of Jager last night and got pretty smashed.  Still pretty down about things he got emotional early on.  He began apologizing for that ugly incident after the boat party a couple summers ago.  We started talking specifics.  It never crossed into getting heated but it was obvious we both still have a lot of feelings about things in our past.

He kept hugging me, he kept telling me he loved me.  But it's hard to accept things at face value sometimes when those same actions were once used to manipulate.  I guess I can take some kind of solace in Jaime actually admitting to it now.  How it wasn't as one sided as he makes it out at times.  How he was just as responsible for the imaginary tether as I was.  We both practically held each other hostage in fear of losing the other.

It all stemmed from an ugly incident his father cause during his birthday celebration.  Jaime said he didn't want to be anything like his father.  He didn't want to do these horrible things and say these horrible things and then pretend he never did.  He says he feels like I let him off the hook way too easily sometimes.  I didn't know what to say.  Agree with him?  Sometimes I do.  But then where would that leave my friendship with him?

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