Thursday, March 10, 2011

Selective memories or bitchy queens with a confused sense of identity.

Yeah, Deejay always manages to remind me why he's a "friend" to maintain at arms length who I should NEVER discuss anything beyond the frivolous. Why the hell would he EVER tell Dante some completely distorted account of our breakup. Yes, I met Andre at the club while I was still with Deejay. Yes, I took his number when he gave it to me, but I did it because after talking to him at the bar I thought he was cool and would have liked to be his friend. I didn't cheat on Deejay, which for some reason out of all the supposed men who have done him wrong in the past he chooses to tell him about me and him. What he failed to tell Dante was how I never even used Andre's number until one day while working on Deejay's computer he gets an IM from some guy in New York who asks me who I am after I let him know Deejay wasn't at his computer. When I answer "his boyfriend", this guy who has been "chatting" with Deejay for over 6 months gets all pissy that he's never mentioned a boyfriend all this time. I just can't stand it when people want to play this role of innocence and act like every one is out to get them. Everyone does Deejay wrong, it's never due to his having the personality equivalent of a scouring pad. Sometimes I feel like Deejay makes it a point to try to rub it in my face what a wonderful relationship of a month he has with Jose. It took everything inside me to not bust out laughing in his face when he told me how they've been talking marriage and having children. Month or a decade. That's still a scary thought. I'm happy for my friend. But if I'm sitting there opening up to him about my problems with Dante lately, is it really necessary to go into how great him and Jose are in the same conversation.

If Deejay hadn't pissed me off the way he did I may have stuck up for him when Jose was playfully (but continuously) ragging on him for being pretty girly. We were watching a documentary about the levels of masculinity (and lack there of) within the gay community and how one side reacts to the other. I just stared at Deejay blankly as he had the unmitigated gall to go into a story about how his mother told him how thankful she was that her son ended up being a "manly" gay. WTF?!? He may as well coughed up a sequined purse while he said that. Wow.

Then I could have got up and left when he went into a tirade at how he could NEVER live on what I made at my last position. He's too "booji" (a phrase he's picked up from Dante) for that. I was this close. But I maintained.

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