Got back from Dante's Mexican Board Game Night a little after midnight. Oddly enough, the night did not involve a ball in a cup, Mexico's very own Playstation. I brought Jaime along but noticed he seemed a little uptight about being surrounded by so many new people. I made sure to keep his run and cokes refilled to loosen up a bit. He did. A little. We had a good time playing dirty charades and coming up with the funniest and grossest forms of scat. Jun, Double T and a big group of Dante's buddies came over for tacos and a couple board games. Good night. Lots of fun.
On the ride afterwards Jaime told me he felt like a douche for bringing up how badly I was snoring last night during a cigarette break. He didn't want Dante to think he was trying to prove anything or start any trouble. I assured him Dante isn't like that and wouldn't take the comment in the wrong way but I told him I would make sure to bring it up to Dante just in case the air needed to be cleared. Jaime and I spent last night with his family to celebrate his youngest brother's 19th birthday. I have been nothing but up front about my past with Jaime so I started thinking it may have bothered him to hear we're sharing a bed again but Jaime's like a brother to me now. Or at least I'm trying to get back that friendship we once had.
Later at my place after a couple of hit from my bowl, Jaime opened up and vented about some issues he has been having lately with his family and especially with his boyfriend, The Retard.
It's good to know for certain I am over my feelings for Jaime. There wasn't a single part of me that felt good about hearing how hurt Jaime was. I listened to his venting and give him the best advice I could trying to give him the benefit of my mistakes. I'm older, I feel I've grown so much this last year when it felt like everything was stripped from me. That's the main reason I wanted Jaime to join us tonight. I want him to see the other side to having friends, real friends. People who genuinely care about him and who don't enjoy cutting those down around them to make themselves feel better like The Retard and his band of bitchy queens.
I am only human. I couldn't help feel a twinge of "Really? This is what you tore apart a friendship of ten years for? This is his "soul mate" who Jaime now describes as “devoid of any kind of personality”? Who he claims is now a shadow of his former self. A mere pathetic reflection of Jaime's own personality.. The Retard likes what Jaime likes. The Retard wants to do what Jaime wants to do. And even worse he's unappreciative and chronically miserable. Sometimes I wonder if Jaime is staying with The Retard to save face so he doesn't feel like he's admitting he was wrong. He made a mistake. He fucked up. I can't understand how, let alone why, he's still in this relationship. What's worse Jaime's even having problems remaining physically and sexually attracted to The Retard due to what a “girl” he really is. In not only what an issue his what a sissy he acts like but how dramatic his attitude is.
It's good to know for certain I am over my feelings for Jaime. There wasn't a single part of me that felt good about hearing how hurt Jaime was. I listened to his venting and give him the best advice I could trying to give him the benefit of my mistakes. I'm older, I feel I've grown so much this last year when it felt like everything was stripped from me. That's the main reason I wanted Jaime to join us tonight. I want him to see the other side to having friends, real friends. People who genuinely care about him and who don't enjoy cutting those down around them to make themselves feel better like The Retard and his band of bitchy queens.
I am only human. I couldn't help feel a twinge of "Really? This is what you tore apart a friendship of ten years for? This is his "soul mate" who Jaime now describes as “devoid of any kind of personality”? Who he claims is now a shadow of his former self. A mere pathetic reflection of Jaime's own personality.. The Retard likes what Jaime likes. The Retard wants to do what Jaime wants to do. And even worse he's unappreciative and chronically miserable. Sometimes I wonder if Jaime is staying with The Retard to save face so he doesn't feel like he's admitting he was wrong. He made a mistake. He fucked up. I can't understand how, let alone why, he's still in this relationship. What's worse Jaime's even having problems remaining physically and sexually attracted to The Retard due to what a “girl” he really is. In not only what an issue his what a sissy he acts like but how dramatic his attitude is.
“A bitch,” Jaime cried loudly and angrily between puffs. “He's a fuckin bitch and I don't like women. I'm a gay man. I like men.”
Good boy.
It did hurt me to hear him cry about how neglected and unloved he felt at home and in his relationship. I told him I only want what's best for him and I will be there for him anytime he needs me. But never over my own happiness or benefits.
I learn my lessons.
I learn my lessons.
I can't help smile a little to see how the roles have switched. The Retard is the one crying and proclaiming his undying love for Jaime. He was even pathetic enough to tell him he could cheat on him if that's what it took to keep him. He'd look the other way.
Why would anyone want to be with anyone so pathetic? Look whose going through whose phone obsessively checking for texts and proof of infidelity now?
Why would anyone want to be with anyone so pathetic? Look whose going through whose phone obsessively checking for texts and proof of infidelity now?
Fucking Retard.
I was surprised to hear Jaime wonder out loud if what The Retard is putting him through is somehow pay back for how things ended up with me. Hm Growth.
...how the hell did Bryon expect me to get ANYONE to guess "the backseat of Rebecca's friend's car" in charades?!? Dick.
...how the hell did Bryon expect me to get ANYONE to guess "the backseat of Rebecca's friend's car" in charades?!? Dick.
No comments:
Post a Comment