Monday, March 28, 2011

Relationship analysis after a first date followed by blue balled masturbation

Ron kept hinting for me to invite him over after the movie tonight. It went well. Sucker Punch was awesome in IMAX.  Ron, as usual, was great. Adorable, complimentary, attentive, masculine. He had an early meeting at the homeless shelter so we decided not to go out for drinks afterwards like originally planned, but he kept letting me know he had time to come in for a drink or two if I invited him in.

I opted out and blamed it on my early interview in the morning.  I was tempted to invite him in.  I just didn't want to get myself into a situation I would later regret.  I've been having issues with Dante lately and we never officially decided to be exclusive, but we both have mentioned we weren't looking to "see" any one else.  Truth is, right now I don't want to be with anyone else.  I want to work on this, on us.  I feel my current unemployed status is finally wearing on Dante's patience for me.  I think I'm going to need to step back before I become a burden.  Regardless what happens between Dante and I, I don't want anyone to come out of this with hurt feelings.  I especially would hate for him to come out believing I betrayed him.

After a quick good night I thank Ron for the movie and late dinner and headed inside.  Alone.  Wishing Dante would be inside waiting for me to hold while I slept.  Wishing he wanted to be with me as much as I want to be with him.

That being said...

Now that that's out of the way I'm gonna watch Spartacus: Blood and Sand till I pass out.  Alone.

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