Got an interesting message from The Retard this afternoon which is completely ironic in light of recent events, i.e. me and his boyfriend, my best friend, getting it on again. Oops. I haven't had any kind of interaction with him since two New Years ago when we last tried to be one happy family. I agreed to make an attempt for Jaime's sake but it was too much, too soon forced down my throat and during a heated argument with Jaime I suggested The Retard ask his boyfriend when the last time we fucked was. I didn't bother waiting for him to ask, I cheated and gave him the answer right away. Two nights ago before our New Year's festivities. Jaime and I were pretty much estranged from that point on until our recent reconciliation.
The Retard asked if I would be interested in burying the hatchet to co-op some kind of celebration for Jaime's upcoming birthday. He suggested an intimate dinner. Dumb ass. You can have an intimate dinner any time, and who would be at this intimate dinner? I can just imagine me sitting awkwardly at the table between Jaime and The Retard and The Retard's hissing queen buddy. Not my idea of a good time. I suggested we get Polish to talk to the polish girl they all know so we can use her bar for the festivities, only with the slight intention of pissing him off by involving his own estranged best friend. I know Jaime. He wants a debaucherous night filled with binge drinking and raucous, not a quiet evening having dinner. Plus, in a big party setting I can maneuver my way away from the gruesome twosome as much as I need to survive the night.
"I wanna put an end to whatever it is we had going," he wrote.
Okay, I have to admit I took a little pleasure in pointing out this never was about him, any problems and issues were never between him and I. They were about Jaime and I, he just happened to be caught in the cross fire. I let him know I want nothing more than my best friend's happiness, adding a little twist of the knife with a "be it with or without you."
Let's put it out there. I am in fact over everything. I'm not holding any grudges and am concentrating on my own progress and not what Jaime is doing in his own life. That being said, I'm not new. I see this move on The Retard's part for the desperate attempt to further is hold on Jaime and score a couple brownie points in the process. He wants to integrate himself in a part of Jaime's life he has nothing to do with and has never been welcome to: our friendship.
Despite the laundry list of things Jaime's unhappy with in his relationship, there must be more to it when Jaime has to lie about hanging out with me in order not to hurt The Retard's overly sensitive feelings by not wanting to spend every moments of his life with him. Take this weekend's incessant texting with nothing to say but stupid "smileys", much to both Jaime and my annoyance. He's like a relentless fly you're this close to swatting at with a newspaper.
Once again, The Retard underestimates me. I can see the knife behind his back he's waiting to plunge into my own while he smiles duplicitously and waves the white flag. I'm sure this has something to do with how chummy Jaime, Polish and I have been lately. Jaime told me recently The Retard refuses to make nice with Polish after their own drama, but I'm supposed to believe he's interested in being a "great friend" to me? Even going as far as suggesting a trial period. Fucking loser. This level of desperation is nauseating. What's worse, in going back and forth a couple of times I see how he tries so hard to speak and interact with me like Jaime and I do. I can see first hand what Jaime has been complaining about. His lack of personality makes him a human sponge. The overt friendliness feels forced and I'm not getting any positive vibes from this situation at all.
I made it a point to explain to him how important I take my relationships with my friends. How much trust I put in them and how ferally I will protect them when I can. I don't just call people my friends cause they have my phone number or because they happen to know someone I do. I told him I can be civil, but saying we're gonna be friends is a stretch at this point. I just hope this doesn't backfire on me like last time. I'm doing this for my best friend. "I want to be able to have the two most important guys in my life in the same room," The Retard relays Jaime's wish to me. It's a longing I've heard from my best friend before. I guess it should be ok as long as The Retard remembers his place as my best friend's boyfriend. Not as my friend.
I guess this can get a little sticky seeing as Jaime and I seem to randomly fall into old patterns. Perhaps this way I get a closer view of the fireworks when their relationship finally does implode.
I said I hold him no ill will, but if Karma decides to take her due I just hope I'm around to see it.
The Retard asked if I would be interested in burying the hatchet to co-op some kind of celebration for Jaime's upcoming birthday. He suggested an intimate dinner. Dumb ass. You can have an intimate dinner any time, and who would be at this intimate dinner? I can just imagine me sitting awkwardly at the table between Jaime and The Retard and The Retard's hissing queen buddy. Not my idea of a good time. I suggested we get Polish to talk to the polish girl they all know so we can use her bar for the festivities, only with the slight intention of pissing him off by involving his own estranged best friend. I know Jaime. He wants a debaucherous night filled with binge drinking and raucous, not a quiet evening having dinner. Plus, in a big party setting I can maneuver my way away from the gruesome twosome as much as I need to survive the night.
"I wanna put an end to whatever it is we had going," he wrote.
Okay, I have to admit I took a little pleasure in pointing out this never was about him, any problems and issues were never between him and I. They were about Jaime and I, he just happened to be caught in the cross fire. I let him know I want nothing more than my best friend's happiness, adding a little twist of the knife with a "be it with or without you."
Let's put it out there. I am in fact over everything. I'm not holding any grudges and am concentrating on my own progress and not what Jaime is doing in his own life. That being said, I'm not new. I see this move on The Retard's part for the desperate attempt to further is hold on Jaime and score a couple brownie points in the process. He wants to integrate himself in a part of Jaime's life he has nothing to do with and has never been welcome to: our friendship.
Despite the laundry list of things Jaime's unhappy with in his relationship, there must be more to it when Jaime has to lie about hanging out with me in order not to hurt The Retard's overly sensitive feelings by not wanting to spend every moments of his life with him. Take this weekend's incessant texting with nothing to say but stupid "smileys", much to both Jaime and my annoyance. He's like a relentless fly you're this close to swatting at with a newspaper.
Once again, The Retard underestimates me. I can see the knife behind his back he's waiting to plunge into my own while he smiles duplicitously and waves the white flag. I'm sure this has something to do with how chummy Jaime, Polish and I have been lately. Jaime told me recently The Retard refuses to make nice with Polish after their own drama, but I'm supposed to believe he's interested in being a "great friend" to me? Even going as far as suggesting a trial period. Fucking loser. This level of desperation is nauseating. What's worse, in going back and forth a couple of times I see how he tries so hard to speak and interact with me like Jaime and I do. I can see first hand what Jaime has been complaining about. His lack of personality makes him a human sponge. The overt friendliness feels forced and I'm not getting any positive vibes from this situation at all.
I made it a point to explain to him how important I take my relationships with my friends. How much trust I put in them and how ferally I will protect them when I can. I don't just call people my friends cause they have my phone number or because they happen to know someone I do. I told him I can be civil, but saying we're gonna be friends is a stretch at this point. I just hope this doesn't backfire on me like last time. I'm doing this for my best friend. "I want to be able to have the two most important guys in my life in the same room," The Retard relays Jaime's wish to me. It's a longing I've heard from my best friend before. I guess it should be ok as long as The Retard remembers his place as my best friend's boyfriend. Not as my friend.
I guess this can get a little sticky seeing as Jaime and I seem to randomly fall into old patterns. Perhaps this way I get a closer view of the fireworks when their relationship finally does implode.
I said I hold him no ill will, but if Karma decides to take her due I just hope I'm around to see it.
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