Monday, April 11, 2011

Dammit Dante!

So I'm trying to at least have at least a chapter ready to trade works with Kitty by the end of the week for our writer's circle jerk when I get a message from Dante.  I do the polite small talk thing. "How are you?"  "What's new?"

Now, someone asks me: "How are you?"  I reply: "Fine, thank you.  You?"

Not Dante.  The flood gates opened and forward spewed an onslaught of Dante's stressings over nothing.  I understand.  He has a lot on his plate.  He's stopped taking his meds for his anxiety cold turkey.  His parent's are in town this week.  Dante told me during our trip to visit his family for this past New Year's a close proximity to his parent's were always a source of stress.  Jason's staying with him this month as well, to be close to The Leprechaun before his relocation to D.C. for work.  He's also decided to cut ties with his friends back in Miami, including his ex and best friend, saying it's too painful to have to hear about them living their lives without him.

Dante told me he was lonely, even though there are at least four extra people in his apartment at the moment.  He then said he feels him and I still have some "air to clear".

"Go ahead if you feel the need to," I told him.  "But I'm really in no mood to listen to you're laundry list of what you believe are my flaws."

He pretty much shut down after that and we agreed to talk some other time about this when he's not at work.

I know I told him I wanted to reexamine this thing between us when I have my life in more control and have it in me to concentrate on someone else but I almost forgot how exhausting he can be.  All the examining and reexamining the most minute details.... ugh.  So not me.

Attempting to change the subject I filled him in on the drama with The Retard.  I think some of the sordid details of the convulted past between Jaime, The Retard, and I kinda bothered him.  Although I previously gave him the cliff notes on the subject while we were dating I never went into the details.

I don't know.  I just feel like as great of a guy as Dante is anything between us more than friendship will just end badly.  Mostly due to his inability to just chill the fuck out.

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