Monday, February 28, 2011

silence is golden

It seems like Dante and I have been on a constant up and down in our relationship lately. Sometimes it's just a bit too frustrating. There's already the issue he's having at the similarities in personality he notices between me and his last boyfriend. I can't help we both liked comic books, and enjoyed smoking pot. He says he's not comparing me but he's brought it up on more than one occasion during his extended rants on this thing between us. It's a little difficult to get talked at about yourself. I understand he needs to work out the things in his head and say things out loud but I told him I didn't think I was the best person to do that with since we're discussing us. I can't unhear things he says when he's thinking things out.

I'm a man of a few words. When I talk I like to make sure I actually have something to say and there some merit to it. I don't like talking out of my asshole. That being said I enjoy being able to be next to someone and do my own thing while they do theirs. Like being in each others presence is enough. There's no need to force conversation to stifle the silence. I don't feel the need to entertain them. Companionship like that is rare. It's what I had a lifetime ago with Gino and most recently with The Mistake. Sometimes I find myself tuning people out because they go on about the most frivolous and mundane things. If they're someone whose feelings I don't want to necessarily hurt I smile and nod politely, trying my best to seem interested without really encouraging them to go on. I don't want to be in a relationship where I find myself tuning my partner out. Sometimes when Dante goes on about some tangent I can't help but think, "really? This is what you're bitching about?" I couldn't help but to tell him this, since we were being honest about what bothers us about the other person. I didn't want him thinking the mostly made up "concerns" he has with making it official with me are anywhere near the real concerns I have about it. He was kinda taken back and told me he sometimes mistakes my nonchalance for me not caring. His statement kinda opened up a can of worms and I opened up a lot. Even cried a little. I was feeling needy. I needed someone. I thought he would be there for me. He wasn't. Of course, he has another out of town guest coming to visit and needed to prepare for that. I can understand his not wanting to get lost in love with me to the point we can't stand to be apart for a moment and stops living his life but then there's making me feel I have no place in his life, until he's available for me. I played that game already. I have no interest in jumping into something where I'm made to feel what I take the back seat to everything and one else.



During our conversation Dante told me he spent the entire week trying to build up the courage to ask me to be his boyfriend. To make it exclusive. Funny, he still hasn't. He wants romantic. He wants expressive. He went on how his ex from Florida made him feel so special and showed him how he deserves to be treated. I'm like what the fuck do you want me to do? Feed you grapes and fan you as you clear you're dvr? Felate him while he eats a christmas ham? I'm getting tired of having to guess what he wants. I'm not a fucking mind reader. Why can't he just tell me what he wants.

I can't be sure what it is Dante does or doesn't want but I know for sure what I do and don't.

Poetry

I wanna catch this film showing at the Music Box Theater.  You don't get much from the trailer but the story centers around an old woman who begins taking a poetry class as her brain starts to deteriorate from Alzheimers.  When the grandson she's raising is involved in the gang rape of a young girl who later commits suicide, the grandmother is faced with the moral dilemma of whether or not to join the families of the other young attackers in paying hush money to the victim's mother.

Friday, February 25, 2011

what a let down



Caught the newest animated movie from DC Comics, All-Star Superman on demand last night.  Usually I'd be waiting for the store to open to get my own copy the day it goes on sale but after picking up the first two issues of the comic of the same name which the movie was based on years ago and quickly deciding not to continue following it I decided to hold off on the purchase.  I was so right.  I hated the comic.  I hated the movie.  It felt juvenile and rushed, like they were trying to throw too much in, making it pretty convoluted.  Hopefully this is the exception cause so far I've loved every movie DC has released.

It is sad and a little ironic that comic and film script writer Dwayne McDuffie died the day before the movie he wrote about the final days of Superman premiered.

Justice League XXX Trailer




Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sexual Healing

It seems like the small problems adding up between Dante and I may have been symptomatic of the bigger issue: our lack of sexual compatibility.  Physically speaking.  Yesterday Dante reminded me there's way more to sex than just penetration.  He reminded me on the kitchen counter while we cooked dinner.  He reminded me as I hung over the ottoman after dinner.  He reminded me on the guest futon while I started my latest Twin Peaks marathon afterwards.  He reminded me in his bedroom that night.

From the moment he got home from work he couldn't keep his hands off me and seemed to have made the decision somewhere in his day I would spend the rest of the evening naked, taking it upon himself to strip off any article of clothing I attempted to put back on.  I gave up pretty early on and just went on with my balls hanging and assed out.

So he likes surprises?  The plan is to greet him at the door when he get's back from work in nothing but a jock strap, throw him against the wall for the best head of his life and just about the time I polish him off the BBQ smothered pork ribs and baked potatoes I've been preparing for dinner should be ready.

Seriously bitches?  It's really not that hard to keep a man interested.

Monday, February 21, 2011

"...oops i did it again."

Feeling vulnerable with everything going on with Dante, I agreed to spend some time with The Mistake recently.  It was easy to slip back into our usual flow.  It was as if several months haven't passed since last we've seen one another.  It was reminiscent of a time we couldn't go a day without seeing one another.  That lasted almost eight years with the last two of them living together.  We were oddly compatible.  Our personalities complimented and meshed with each other so well.  It was as if we were on the same brain frequency.  We would finish each other's sentences and even randomly say things at the same time.  We just picked up where we left off.

There was a time I considered this man my lover, my brother, my best friend, my everything.   He was my soul mate.  It's unfortunate when your soul mate finds theirs in someone other than you.

We caught up with one another's lives, asked about each other's families, we even discussed our issues with Dante and The Retard.  I couldn't help but notice how easy it was to talk about our relationships.  I stopped myself from smiling when he referred to The Retard as a "goofy looking mother fucker" when he was telling me about ye with only one working ear going through his phone and getting angry about the numbers he doesn't recognize.  The Mistake was also getting annoyed at the incessant texts from the tailed bastard (think Shallow Hal needs a gal, people) trying to create an argument in a transparent attempt to divert his attention back to himself.  Guess there honey moon's been looong over.  On one of the last occasions The Mistake and I spent time together months ago, the little retard that could was upset he wasn't able to lure him away from me.  The next morning The Mistake gave me a ride to work and received a picture message from a friend of The Retard's.  Guess since he was pissed off his boyfriend was spending the night with me, he decided to get a blow job from some guy who's been sniffing around his cock for awhile.  His friend snapped a picture of the act and sent it to The Mistake.  What a pal, huh?

"You don't have to worry about him anymore.  It's over," he told me for the second time and I wondered who he was lying to more.  Me or himself?  By the time I was out of work that afternoon they had already made up.  Control by threat of infidelity.  Who's weak enough to fall for that?  Minus 50 cool points.  Then again how many get out of jail free cards has The Retard racked up by now?  He's been cheated on with myself alone more times than we can count on both hands.  I couldn't even tell you the times with others.  The Mistake is smarter than to trust me with that kind of information.  Especially since the last time he tried to force this idea of all of us being friends after everything that's happened on me.  I ended that idea when I instructed The Retard to ask his boyfriend when the last time we fucked was.  I wondered aloud if he would tell him the truth.  The night before New Year's Eve, the weekend before.  That must have been an awkward ride home.

But I let go of all that anger.  I don't hold any ill will towards anyone.  But it's like I said.  I'm not a phony person.  I'm not gonna smile in his face and pretend to be his friend.  There's been way too much negativity for that.  We spent almost four days together, hanging out, like old times.  It was a little odd when he rested his head against the pillow next to mine in bed at his house.  We've been usually going for the safer, head to toe configuration.  But we were good.  We stayed on our own sides of the bed.  But the other night on my couch we fell asleep with me holding him.  ...  Nothing much happened.  Much.  We did both cum.



He told me he wants to meet Dante.  I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

I want all of these




My new man crush



So I'm hanging out with The Mistake other day. We're smoking up and he's force feeding me these really gay musical numbers from Glee and I'm at the point where I would rather shove bamboo sticks into my eyeballs than watch another moment when I notice the really friggin hawt gay kid. Not the REALLY gay blonde kid. The dark haired one with the lips. Sigh. His voice alone is enough to have me on my knees, mouth gaping, but then there's that attitude. This kid's got serious swagger not to mention the balls it takes to be confident enough in one's own masculinity to belt out overtly feminine pop hits like Katy Perry's Teenage Dream and Bills, Bills, Bills by Destiny's Child.

Have I mentioned what a hard on I get over self confidence?


I start worrying I'm gonna be put on some kinda perv list for ogling the kid so I do what any homo would. Googled shirtless pictures of him. I did find out he's thankfully over the legal limit of making me a dirty old man and this shot of his abs from an upcoming Out Magazine cover where he comes out as a straight actor. Boo. I think I'm gonna start a "Let's turn Darren Criss Out" campaign. I'm gonna follow him around the country like a groupie and when I have my chance I'll walk up to him and tell him I noticed his penis isn't in any one's mouth at the moment then ask, "May I interest you in a blow job?" Sigh. And they tell me I'm not romantic.



Thursday, February 17, 2011

Tearful brunches while asian children are having epileptic seizures over Marvel vs. Capcom 3

Stayed over Dee Jay's place last night. He needed someone to let the cable man in while he worked in the morning so he picked me up yesterday afternoon and we got something to eat. Of course he wasted no time steering the topic of conversation to what's going on between Dante and I. Oddly enough, I filled him in on V.D.'s Revenge.

As much as I've been trying to pretend my recent problems with Dante haven't been bothering me, I know deep down they are. And Dee Jay has known me well enough to hear what I don't say. I spilled my guts even though I usually don't open up to my friend like that. Not that I don't see him as a true friend, Dee Jay's proven himself to me this past year. He's also proven himself to be extremely opinionated. Plus he likes the sound of his voice a little too much. A potentially obnoxious combination in my eyes. I'd rather just save myself the frustration of having to listen to his unrequested two cents. Sometimes all you need to do is to talk AT someone. Not to. Sometimes all you need to do is to vent and have someone listen without attributing your problems to a story you're in no mood to listen to or without getting advice you didn't request.

I teared up a bit when I finally said out loud I thought this may be the deal breaker that ends things between Dante and I.

Again, I couldn't help notice how many times Dee Jay emphasized how much more compatible me and him were than me and Dante are. Whatever. Of course he couldn't wait to tell me what a wonderful Valentine's Day he spent with his boyfriend.

Douche.

Later we went back to his place and I took out my frustrations on his PS3 playing the new Capcom vs. Marvel 3. The game play is great with easy to learn moves and it looks awesome with it's bright colors and flashing lights almost like an animated comic book.


The Phoenix, kicks serious ass, going ape shit at level 5 and turning into Dark Phoenix as her hyper. Galactus as the game boss quickly bitch slapped us both and we realized flipping this game wouldn't be as easy as we thought. I quietly enjoyed how pissed off Dee Jay got.




Plus the edition of random character Arthur, from Ghouls n Ghosts is pretty cool, especially how he runs into his armor in nothing but his boxer shorts like he does in the original video game.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"Girls, girls, you're both pretty."






So this is Nicki Minaj's cover for her album Pink Friday.

















And this is the cover to Lil Kim's new album, Black Friday, released today.


Nothing like a good ole bitch fight to get the commerce going. I can't help but wonder about this "on going" drama Lil Kim refers to between the two female rappers. It's been awhile since we've heard from her. Can she be using Nicki's popularity to increase her own? Duh.

Now I love me a good bitch fight.  And I love me some Lil Kim and Nicki Minaj.  I kinda got a hard on for the self assured man's woman.  Attitude like a dude and curses like a sailor under this hard veneer of feminine sexuality; that's my kinda woman.  That being said, Lil Kim's album cover is a little much.  Slapping pussies is one thing.  The bloody decapitation of sex dolls is another.

Check out the Lil Kim article at MTV.com here




V.D.'s revenge

So anyone who knows me knows two things are fact:  number one, I have a great ass; and B, Slutty Iotis doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day.

It's just not my thing. I think it's a joke of a holiday that's been twisted to suite everyone's commercial needs and equates how much you care about someone to how much money you spend on them.

I'm not gonna lie.  I couldn't help giggling like a school girl when Dante pulled out the bouquet of long stemmed red roses from his back seat and gave them to me the other day.  "Just because," he smiled.  But it was the sentiment he actually thought about me while I wasn't around enough to want to buy me something pretty, damn it how pointless.  But Valentine's Day, or V.D. as I call it, just takes it to a whole nuther level of superficial.

And my belief isn't based on bitterness from a past trauma or a jaded view on love.  I just think if two people truly care about one another they don't need to put on a big show with candy and flowers and tacky balloon bouquets.  Really, what the hell am I supposed to do with a bunch of heart shaped aluminum balloons.  Well, besides suck in all the helium and rap like a chipmunk Tupac.

This being said I thought it a pretty big deal I thought enough and cared enough about Dante's feelings to actually try to put forth an effort to "celebrate" with him.  Even though I have my own yearly V.D. festivities which include a marathon of the goriest horror movies of all time, eating buffalo wings, smoking pot, and making voodoo dolls of lover's past while drinking forty ounces out of paper bags cause that's HOW REAL PIMPS DO IT.  Anyone who cares to join is welcome.  They've become quite popular amongst my friends.  Now I've made it no secret to Dante how I feel about Valentine's Day.  It feels like we're meeting one another half way when I ask him what he wants to do and he tells me it's up to me.  So I tell him I'll clean his apartment up and do his laundry while he's at work and have dinner and a hot bath waiting for him when he gets back.  I'd follow it up with an extended full body massage and complimentary happy ending. 

So while he was at work I look up a few recipes and go out for lunch with Dee Jay.  The plan was to do some grocery shopping for supplies afterwards but while I was at Dee Jay's I received a call from Dante asking me if I wouldn't rather go out for dinner instead.  It's about what he wants since I don't care about Valentine's Day remember so I agree.  T-minus 4 hours till he was off of work.  I get back to his place and start researching places we could go.  On Valentine's Day.  Without reservations.  I narrow it done to a list of about five.  T-Minus 3 hours.  I ask Dante his opinion on my list.  He tells me he's busy at work and he's sure I'll do fine.  Like I'm in some kind of pony show.  Very condescending.  T-minus two hours and I haven't lifted one finger to clean his apartment cause I'm raiding his closet for something decent to wear out to dinner since I only brought clothes suitable for a quiet dinner and seduction at home.  T-minus one hour.  He tells me he's too spent from work to go out and if we can do a rain check.  On Valentine's Day.  So I excuse myself from the conversation and tell him I need a moment so I can prevent myself from saying something one of us will regret.  REALLY?!?  Then when I try to explain to him why I'm pissed off he says he left the decision making up to me and refused to own up to switching the plans on me twice.  I tried my best to let it ride and ended up ordering some pretty good delivery for us and watching some dumb shit he wanted to on Netflix.  I wasn't really feeling the whole bath or massage or happy ending thing anymore.  Dinner was... civil and we both went to bed pretty quietly.

I couldn't help but wonder if this was only a taste of what's to come.  The passive aggressiveness reminded me of my arguments with The Mistake.  But I wasn't sure who he reminded me more of.  The Mistake?  Or myself?  I'm not sure which idea scared me more.  Then there was his complete inability to see my side.  I never realized how stubborn Dante was.  Which only made me that more stubborner.  Again, am I not liking the reflection in the mirror?  Then because I had the audacity to say the word "fuck" and to raise my voice cause I was angry suddenly the topic of the conversation was no longer how Dante made it impossible for me to give him the Valentine's Day he wanted to me "yelling and swearing" at him.  Whatever.  Deflection.  That's one I will never own and is all The Mistake.  I do what I do but I'll man up to it.  If I'm being an asshole I'll apologize and say "I was an asshole".  I don't know.  I'm pissed and feel wronged.  He's pissed and feels wrong.  Guess we'll just have to see what happens tomorrow.    

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Movie review over a wounded heart...



Matt and I joined my sister and the douche-in-law for a late showing of The Black Swan in down town last night.  Despite eagerly wanting to watch this movie since seeing the trailer before it's release I found myself dozing off during the drawn out set up at the beginning.  After awhile Matt just left his hand on my crotch and squeezed accordingly to keep me from snoring.  It  started off slow but once it got going Matt wasn't the only thing that had me by the balls.  

I couldn't help but feel a natural dislike for the weak and reserved "Nina", played by Natalie Portman, which sounds about right.  This is an Arnofsky film.  His main characters tend to be so internally flawed the audience usually finds it hard to relate to, let alone like, the character.  On the other side is the enigmatic Mila Kunis as "Lily";  the rival ballerina, the free spirited seductress who taps easily into the dark energy needed to play The Black Swan, a wall the uptight Nina hasn't been able to break.  Once again I find myself mesmerized by Kunis who plays the vixen perfectly.  Then there's the surprise lesbian sex scene...


Black Swan
Without throwing out any spoilers, I must say I couldn't help but to pay close attention to the interactions between Lily and Nina and to the way the other characters interacted with Lily and Nina to either prove or disprove my theory Lily was Nina's Tyler Durden. 
The whole "what the fuck"ness of the final dance at the movie's climax only made the abrupt ending that much better.  This is one to definitely rewatch a couple of times.


Saturday, February 12, 2011

dildos, dick tucks, and bi-curious latinos

Partied with Abe and sister last night at this local dive.  I met the owner and got my name and number down in case there's a job opening soon and got to smoke up on the roof with the bouncer, his tranny girlfriend who I would never have realized was a tranny till she pointed out, "Sometimes people mistake me for a man."  After closer inspection.

Yeah, cause you got a dick.

She did look good.  Slight cave man brow slope protrudes a bit much to be a "born out the pussy with a pussy" woman, in addition to her being unnaturally tall for a woman and her square, not rounded shoulders gave it away.  To me at least.  No one else noticed.  Not even Abe, but he's so adorably clueless all the time he wouldn't.  We had a great time.  I had this straight guy who knew Abe's sister sniffing around me.  Of course I invited him up to the roof for some puff and of course he wanted to make sure I understood how "cool" he is with the whole gay thing.  Yeah you are.  Especially with my dick down your throat.  I had him.  So close.  Even a chance encounter in the men's room.  But I got a lotta wasted.  A LOTTA.  $3 martinis.  Good fucking deal.  It wasn't until after I requested my martini in a manlier glass our friendly neighborhood bartendress let me know Coronas were also only three bucks.

Our plans to drop his sister off at home and haul ass to my place where we could be alone was interrupted when we let her guilt trip us into coming in to join her for a few drinks. 

Back at my place and after a couple more drinks and some fumbling around we quickly realized neither was able to perform with coke dick.  So we smoked a couple doobers, drank some more, laughed and attempted to jerk off to trashy porn online and fell asleep in each other's arms.  Kinda sweet.  In a dark twisty kinda way.  I forget how much I enjoy spending time with Abe.  Then he opens his mouth and has to for some inexplicable reason remind me The Retard and I share another common denominator beside The Mistake and fucks it all up.  Abe and him were each others first.  I cringe every time he feels the need to remind me.

Now I just gotta figure out how to politely get Abe up and off my couch before Matt gets here to cook me dinner.

OHMYGOD! It's so fluffy I could die!

So a while ago Deejay posted this on his page.  This after he made me sit there and listen to him go on and on about his boyfriend telling him he loved him and how he was nervous and wasn't quit sure how to tell him he loved him back! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  When have I ever gave him the impression I enjoyed our girl chats?  How did I become "his guy", as he puts it.  Then this.  Really?  Are we twelve year old girls.  I want to get on the train, take it to his apartment and take a shit on his front steps.  Just when I thought he couldn't out gay himself.  Speaking of which.  Not only am I watching Brokeback Mountain on Logo while I'm blogging but I am wearing a Biore nose strip and a clay pore reducing face mask while I'm doing it.  I even squealed a little when I saw it was on.  "I wish I knew how to quit you, Eniss."  Heath Ledger did go balls out with the whole hawking a looger into his hand to lube himself up before plowing Jake Gyllenhall.  (PS I couldn't give two shits about looking up the correct spelling of that goofy looking bastard's name.)

And yes, my bitterness has everything to do with my hiatus from Dante.  First it was cause I was so sick.  Then it was cause he just always seemed to have something to do.  His friend, the married bisexual, is about to leave town again so I guess I can't take it too personally.  Just couldn't help notice how there was no mention of me joining him and his friend's for the Anti-Valentine's Day Bar Crawl I was invited to a few weeks ago.  Guess he just needs to do him.  I'm just shocked I hadn't managed to fuck this up sooner.  It sucks to realize how much you miss someone as it seems they realize just how much more fun they can have with out you around. 

THE COWBOYS ARE BOUT TO FUCK!

Does anyone else feel like Johnny Wier should have a "caution" sign on at all times cause it's quite possible he may burst into flames at any moment?

Best fucking thing ever!!!

"It wasn't a fart. It was air he fucked into me."
Matthew Dramones


I'm gonna name my memoirs that. Anytime I say his whole name I hear it autotuned in my head like JAY-SON DE-RULLO!!!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Skeeching Bisexuals and a video recap of Snoacalypse oh-eleven.

Still sick, still stuck at home and I'm starting to run low on weed.  FML.  In too much pain for cabin fever but I am definitely starting to get bored. 

Talked briefly with Dante again.  No real resolution.  Looks like he has this married friend of his staying with him while he's in town on business for a few days.  A bisexual dude who I'm not sure whether or not his wife knows about him speaking fag.  I always find it impolite to ask.  He kinda reminds me of my good friend Jerry.

It was only last week we were all dealing with the Groundhog Day blizzard but videos from the snow storm are still popping up.  Here's a couple of my personal favorites.

Below, The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore reacts a little too excitedly to ThunderSnow. He may have drawn wood. He's a professional weather man, right?



The following is a warning tale, a fable if you will. It's about loss, and treachery. Dishonesty and karmaic retribution. I felt like The Simpsons' Nelson Muntz pointing and laughing by the end of this.



I heard it all day. Dante heard it all day. My momma heard it all day. DONT GET ON LAKE SHORE DRIVE DURING BLIZZILAH. So who do these asshole's with cars stuck on LSD during the snow storm have to blame? Their damn selves. Dumb asses.




Ok, this next guy is pretty bad ass and if i wasn't sick last week I woulda been skeeching my self.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Mistake strikes again.

Seems like everyone I know has been feeling under the weather lately. My stubbornness coupled with my fear of syringes and hospitals caused me to prolong my much needed doctors visit to the point I'm now counting down the moments to my appointment later this week in hopes the right side of my head doesn't explode with infection till then. Both Matt and Marky got rushed to the emergency room on two separate occasions last week; the former due to a bleeding ulcer, the later for a high fever. I found out Abe's taking medication for some lung infucktion when I invited him out on  high ride the other day.  They're all ok now but I just got a call from Deejay inviting me over to his place to be sick together. Guess he got a bad case of the flu. My sickness is viral, last thing I need is to toss in a petri-dish of bacteria to the mix. Gonna have to pass on the sick party. As fun as it may sound.

The plan is to stay put, load up on medicine and vitamins and rest until I knock this thing out of me. No more late night blunt rides with the boys to get greasy Mexican or shaking my drunk ass at some club till 5 in the morning. Not until I get better.

Spoke to Dante for a moment earlier. I think I can use this self induced medical exile as some time to give him space. Maybe we can both figure out what it is we want. He asked me last night if I was still upset. I really couldn't gauge his question enough to answer one way or another. We used to be so honest with our feelings. It used to be so easy between us.

I made plans for dinner and a movie with a good friend of mine I haven't seen in a long time later this week if I'm up for it. I think it would be a good way to clear my mind. I don't feel comfortable talking to neither Deejay or Matt regarding these new issues I've been having with Dante. I can't help but to feel like either of their opinions regarding Dante and I are biased. Deejay feels the need to compete with any breathing thing in the room and Matt never really appreciated Dante's existence much after that night of drunken dancing while I was dating Matt and Dante and I were just friendly acquaintances. Dante was a little extra attentive to me that night and Matt walked in on us beside the stage with our heads in extreme close proximity to one another. After following Matt outside the club where he angrily stated he doesn't compete for guys and if Dante's what I want then he's not going to stand in between it. I felt so horrible for Matt's big sad blue eyes. I felt guilty. I told him he was what I wanted. To this day Matt neither admits to or denies asking me to be exclusive with him that night in order to secure me away from Dante. Needless to say Matt isn't very shy about his feelings about Dante and I.

Got a message from The Mistake this morning. He's still under the impression it's a good idea to pretend to remain friends. I, on the other hand, don't overestimate my importance in his life like he does his in mine. I ignored it. This was after I heard through the gay grape vine The Mistake somehow managed to get into two car accidents in one day yesterday. I think his message was an invitation for me to inquire about his well being. To make himself a part of my life once again. I couldn't help compile a list in my head of everything I lost because of him. My car. A couple jobs. A few friends neglected while I attended to his needs. My family's respect. My self esteem. Almost ten years of my life. After everything we went through how can I possibly go back to being his "friend". Like that will erase all the pain and the hurt and the lies and manipulations. He invited me to his father's birthday party last weekend. For a moment I almost accepted the invitation. Despite everything a part of me will forever miss him. Love him and his family. For so long they were considered my family as well. Feeling's like that just don't disappear because a relationship doesn't work out. But I tried already. As much as I would like to take my usual spot around the family table I don't feel right anymore. It doesn't feel like it's my place anymore. It's been tainted. It reeks of The Retard. Something I remember telling The Mistake on one of the few occasions we bumped into one another since the end. "You don't smell like you used to. You smell like..."

him.

Sometimes I'm tempted to revert back to the old me. Back to the kind of guy who would destroy him and anyone who wronged me with a roll of the eye. Systematically strip every one and thing they hold dear until they're left with nothing else but their own miserable existences. Believe me, the plots have gone through my head. The plans made and perfected numerous times. I'm just a different person now. I don't wish neither one any bad, but I wouldn't mind and may actually hide a smirk at the news of their random misfortunes. What goes around comes around, fuckers. And Karma is a bigger bitch than I can ever aspire to be.

Oh Craigery. STICK IT IN!!!



Where the hell have I been? How am I just being introduced to Craigery Morgan, aspiring comedian and internet hottie? I'm gonna blame being sick. He took a great SNL skit starring the highlarious Kristin Wig and simply acted it out while lip syncing to the original track. But what made it so special is that he had the correct frame of mind to do it shirtless. Thank you Mister Morgan. My erect penis salutes you.

Lindsay, Henry Cavill AND Superman. It's like my wet dream in here.

Lindsay Lohan in talks for a "major" role in the new Superman reboot. The article states it's not to play Lois Lane. Hmm, Lana Lang? The rumored Supergirl character? Watch it be for the "major" role of Superman's Kryptonian mother who assisted in putting him into the rocket aimed at Earth moments before their home world blows. I call bullshit.

Read the NY Post article here.

After watching Lohan as the machine gun packing, drugged up party whore (type cast, much?) turned vigilante nun in latest installment of the Robert Rodriguez Grindhouse series, Machete, I couldn't help longing for the Lindsay of old. What happened to that adorable little ginger spit fire we fell in love with Mean Girls. The Mistake and I actually saw the film four different times in the theater. So gay. How about the time she played...um. Yeah. Guess her career pretty much rose and fell with Mean Girls.

We need a redo after the abomination that was Superman Returns. Don't fuck this up for us Lohan. Henry Cavill. In tights. Nuff said.

Take a look at The Tudor's Cavill cropped into the costume. Click here for the article on his being cast as the Man of Steel himself.


Cards Against Humanity

Created by a group of Chicago high school kids at a New Years get together, Cards Against Humanity is a great party game for any occasion. If, like myself and my circle of friends, you have an inappropriate sense of humor that borders on offensive and slightly racist. With answers like: "Ethnic Cleansing", "Pixilated Bukake", "Smegma" and "Feminine Odor", the point of the game is to combine the most hilarious question and answer cards and to collect "Awesome" points.

Good clean, family fun if u ask me. Can't wait to whip out this card game at the next family reunion.

Get the game for free here.

Monday, February 7, 2011

The Walking Dead

The show is great, can't wait for it to come out on dvd. Till then I got a lot of catching up to do with the comics. Just finished Issue 1.

I wanna see this



Me, Myself and I

I feel like sometimes I have the bad habit of forgetting my lessons.



"Love is so blind it feels right when it's wrong."



"Though you put on quite a show. Really had me going."

A gift. Dante or me?



I've been looking for something nice I can give Dante for his new place.  I know he'd love this piece I found on ArtStar.com but with all the recent set backs we've been having I think I may like it better for myself.  This would look great on my empty wall opposite my brown sectional.  Decisions, decisions.

Coffee and a wank before I hit the want ads.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Is the honeymoon's over so soon?

Sunday.  MY day.  It's been too long since I've had the time or been able to just chill on my own couch, clearing my DVR, stack of comic books beside me, pipe in hand, a pile of weed on the table.  Oh yeah, and the best part?  I do it without pants.  My "day without pants" are world famous.  You should try it sometime.

The brother in law's downstairs in my bedroom playing Call of Duty waiting for the Superbowl to start and my sister's in the kitchen working on loaded potato salad and sandwiches.  The only real interest I have in the Superbowl is as an excuse to drink before three p.m.  GO BEER!

I left Dante's apartment early this morning after waking up still drunk and feeling like shit.  It's hard to get back to 100% when you keep going out and partying at the first sign of improvement.  So after some more apartment shopping with Dante and a coworker and neighbor of his and a great dinner I decided to have him stop for a bottle of wine after dropping off his friend.  I figured it would help to ...ahem, loosen me up.  Dirty pun unintended.  It didn't.  If I'M starting to get really frustrated with the situation of my being unable to give it up, I can imagine how he feels.  Though I'd like to point out it's not like he's being very willing to bend over and take a flesh rocket up to Uranus.  It's not like I haven't bottomed before.  Most recently with The Mistake it was regular.  Yeah, it hurt at first and it was something I had to get accustomed to before I was able to actually relax enough to enjoy it but I did get accustomed with it and actually found myself enjoying it.  So what's the problem?  Can it be Dante and I are just not sexually compatible?  There's a definite bend to the left that borders on elbow-like.  Could that be the source of the discomfort and pain?  I don't have much experience playing catcher, having more practice as the pitcher, so I don't have much to compare to.  I'm liking this to having your asshole treated like a rejected Night at the Apollo contestee being close lined and yanked off stage by that long ass cane.  I paint a pretty picture, huh?

So how do I decide to try to remedy the situation?  Add more liquor, of course.  Have you met me?  I decide to get REALLY fucked up at Jackhammers and the small dive a few buildings down with the "dungeon" like room in the back where u can stumble and join all kinds of live, hot man on man action.  Seems these seedier areas I had no idea existed in my twenty-nine years (ish) are the places Dante's friend's frequent.  I get shloshed, we're out dancing till almost 5am, we run into a group of friend's of his, most notably a couple who Dante slept with a few months before I came into the picture.  Seems like since starting to see me one of the couple has been having a hard time excepting Dante's being off the market.  After more drinks I almost couldn't tell which one of them wanted which one of us more.  On the walk back to Dante's apartment he got a text.  I guess the couple's car was towed.  Dante insisted I wait at home while he drives over to the bar to help them.  A little too insistent.  I woke up the next morning in his bed alone.  He was on the couch asleep.  I couldn't help assuming the worst.  I grabbed my things and got the hell outta there.  I don't know.  We've only been seeing each other a couple of months.  It's not even official, a point he had no problem bringing up at another skanky bar a couple of nights in front of some old joke who actually believed he had a chance.  Then there's the whole sex thing.  Could I blame him?  I don't even know if I have the right to be angry.

Then there was the thing Friday night after joining Double T, Troy and Trevor another couple friend of Dante's, for a movie.  Speaking of which, I feel Seth Rogan owes me a personal apology for my having to sit through the abortion on film that was The Green Hornet.  I spent two hours counting down the minutes with the only thing allowing me to sit through the experience being plans to go out for drinks and dancing afterward.  Once back in the car, and after I couldn't help but notice Dante's slight annoyance with my verbal dislike of the film, he asks his friend's if they still want to go out for drinks.  They were tired, so we dropped them off and went back to Dante's place ourselves.  I felt bothered.  Discounted.  Like my opinion, cause I'm not the one paying, didn't matter.  

I think we need a little space.  We've been spending a lot of time together.  Maybe I just need to take a step back and think about what I really want.  What happened?  It was so easy up until recently.  I haven't even heard from him at all either.  Not even a "how u feeling?"

WHAT THE GAY SHIT?!?

...wow.

What kind of faggy bullshit is this?

AC SLATER IS HAWT!

I've always been more of a Zach Morris kinda guy but WOW! I need to get back in the gym on a regular basis.

Saluting the One Eyed Salamie

I've been beating off to internet stud, Jeremy Lory for years.  Stumbled across this one while looking for something to whack it to.  Couldn't help notice how desperate he seems, also the excessive nose swipes at the beginning.  Still, I busted my nut.  Me and this straight guy I grew up with who was also a jerk off partner used to always dare each other to lick our loads off our hands once we blew but we never could bring ourselves to actually go through with it.  I still say I'm gonna try it every now and then but chicken out.  Funny, I have no problem swallowing others loads.

Something to shake my ass to this morning...

Give it to Me, Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Grandmother, a short film by David Lynch



David Lynch is one sick, twisted bastard, and I love him for it. I was watching a compilation of shorts while I was stuck at Dante's apartment sick and I couldn't help be confused, repulsed, intrigued and more at the surrealistic combination of animation and live action.
I couldn't keep my eyes off of Six Heads Getting Sick or The Alphabet where Lynch manages to pull the viewer into a nightmare compiled of simple images and sounds.  But The Grandmother was by far my favorite of the six shorts.  A dark fable with little dialogue, Lynch once again deals with child abuse and what I read as incest.  He also uses one of (what I believe) is his favorite devices:  the dinner scene with layers upon layers of subtext, subsequently used in both his films Eraserhead and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.  I also couldn't help notice the similarities between the corpse used on the cover art (from Six Heads) and the image of murdered prom queen, Laura Palmer, wrapped in plastic at the beginning of the television series Twin Peaks.

Watch Lynch's The Grandmother here.

Song of the moment



the chorus of this song makes me tear up everytime i here it. guess i wish i felt my family's house was more of a home to me. always the perpetual prodigal son.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Find Dante's Car

We survived Blizzilah, Snowacalypse, Snowmagedon. This is what we were greeted with when Dante and I finally decided to go dig his car out of the snow.