Saturday, February 12, 2011

dildos, dick tucks, and bi-curious latinos

Partied with Abe and sister last night at this local dive.  I met the owner and got my name and number down in case there's a job opening soon and got to smoke up on the roof with the bouncer, his tranny girlfriend who I would never have realized was a tranny till she pointed out, "Sometimes people mistake me for a man."  After closer inspection.

Yeah, cause you got a dick.

She did look good.  Slight cave man brow slope protrudes a bit much to be a "born out the pussy with a pussy" woman, in addition to her being unnaturally tall for a woman and her square, not rounded shoulders gave it away.  To me at least.  No one else noticed.  Not even Abe, but he's so adorably clueless all the time he wouldn't.  We had a great time.  I had this straight guy who knew Abe's sister sniffing around me.  Of course I invited him up to the roof for some puff and of course he wanted to make sure I understood how "cool" he is with the whole gay thing.  Yeah you are.  Especially with my dick down your throat.  I had him.  So close.  Even a chance encounter in the men's room.  But I got a lotta wasted.  A LOTTA.  $3 martinis.  Good fucking deal.  It wasn't until after I requested my martini in a manlier glass our friendly neighborhood bartendress let me know Coronas were also only three bucks.

Our plans to drop his sister off at home and haul ass to my place where we could be alone was interrupted when we let her guilt trip us into coming in to join her for a few drinks. 

Back at my place and after a couple more drinks and some fumbling around we quickly realized neither was able to perform with coke dick.  So we smoked a couple doobers, drank some more, laughed and attempted to jerk off to trashy porn online and fell asleep in each other's arms.  Kinda sweet.  In a dark twisty kinda way.  I forget how much I enjoy spending time with Abe.  Then he opens his mouth and has to for some inexplicable reason remind me The Retard and I share another common denominator beside The Mistake and fucks it all up.  Abe and him were each others first.  I cringe every time he feels the need to remind me.

Now I just gotta figure out how to politely get Abe up and off my couch before Matt gets here to cook me dinner.

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