So I'm hanging out with The Mistake other day. We're smoking up and he's force feeding me these really gay musical numbers from Glee and I'm at the point where I would rather shove bamboo sticks into my eyeballs than watch another moment when I notice the really friggin hawt gay kid. Not the REALLY gay blonde kid. The dark haired one with the lips. Sigh. His voice alone is enough to have me on my knees, mouth gaping, but then there's that attitude. This kid's got serious swagger not to mention the balls it takes to be confident enough in one's own masculinity to belt out overtly feminine pop hits like Katy Perry's Teenage Dream and Bills, Bills, Bills by Destiny's Child.
Have I mentioned what a hard on I get over self confidence?
I start worrying I'm gonna be put on some kinda perv list for ogling the kid so I do what any homo would. Googled shirtless pictures of him. I did find out he's thankfully over the legal limit of making me a dirty old man and this shot of his abs from an upcoming Out Magazine cover where he comes out as a straight actor. Boo. I think I'm gonna start a "Let's turn Darren Criss Out" campaign. I'm gonna follow him around the country like a groupie and when I have my chance I'll walk up to him and tell him I noticed his penis isn't in any one's mouth at the moment then ask, "May I interest you in a blow job?" Sigh. And they tell me I'm not romantic.
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