Sunday. MY day. It's been too long since I've had the time or been able to just chill on my own couch, clearing my DVR, stack of comic books beside me, pipe in hand, a pile of weed on the table. Oh yeah, and the best part? I do it without pants. My "day without pants" are world famous. You should try it sometime.
The brother in law's downstairs in my bedroom playing Call of Duty waiting for the Superbowl to start and my sister's in the kitchen working on loaded potato salad and sandwiches. The only real interest I have in the Superbowl is as an excuse to drink before three p.m. GO BEER!
I left Dante's apartment early this morning after waking up still drunk and feeling like shit. It's hard to get back to 100% when you keep going out and partying at the first sign of improvement. So after some more apartment shopping with Dante and a coworker and neighbor of his and a great dinner I decided to have him stop for a bottle of wine after dropping off his friend. I figured it would help to ...ahem, loosen me up. Dirty pun unintended. It didn't. If I'M starting to get really frustrated with the situation of my being unable to give it up, I can imagine how he feels. Though I'd like to point out it's not like he's being very willing to bend over and take a flesh rocket up to Uranus. It's not like I haven't bottomed before. Most recently with The Mistake it was regular. Yeah, it hurt at first and it was something I had to get accustomed to before I was able to actually relax enough to enjoy it but I did get accustomed with it and actually found myself enjoying it. So what's the problem? Can it be Dante and I are just not sexually compatible? There's a definite bend to the left that borders on elbow-like. Could that be the source of the discomfort and pain? I don't have much experience playing catcher, having more practice as the pitcher, so I don't have much to compare to. I'm liking this to having your asshole treated like a rejected Night at the Apollo contestee being close lined and yanked off stage by that long ass cane. I paint a pretty picture, huh?
So how do I decide to try to remedy the situation? Add more liquor, of course. Have you met me? I decide to get REALLY fucked up at Jackhammers and the small dive a few buildings down with the "dungeon" like room in the back where u can stumble and join all kinds of live, hot man on man action. Seems these seedier areas I had no idea existed in my twenty-nine years (ish) are the places Dante's friend's frequent. I get shloshed, we're out dancing till almost 5am, we run into a group of friend's of his, most notably a couple who Dante slept with a few months before I came into the picture. Seems like since starting to see me one of the couple has been having a hard time excepting Dante's being off the market. After more drinks I almost couldn't tell which one of them wanted which one of us more. On the walk back to Dante's apartment he got a text. I guess the couple's car was towed. Dante insisted I wait at home while he drives over to the bar to help them. A little too insistent. I woke up the next morning in his bed alone. He was on the couch asleep. I couldn't help assuming the worst. I grabbed my things and got the hell outta there. I don't know. We've only been seeing each other a couple of months. It's not even official, a point he had no problem bringing up at another skanky bar a couple of nights in front of some old joke who actually believed he had a chance. Then there's the whole sex thing. Could I blame him? I don't even know if I have the right to be angry.
Then there was the thing Friday night after joining Double T, Troy and Trevor another couple friend of Dante's, for a movie. Speaking of which, I feel Seth Rogan owes me a personal apology for my having to sit through the abortion on film that was The Green Hornet. I spent two hours counting down the minutes with the only thing allowing me to sit through the experience being plans to go out for drinks and dancing afterward. Once back in the car, and after I couldn't help but notice Dante's slight annoyance with my verbal dislike of the film, he asks his friend's if they still want to go out for drinks. They were tired, so we dropped them off and went back to Dante's place ourselves. I felt bothered. Discounted. Like my opinion, cause I'm not the one paying, didn't matter.
I think we need a little space. We've been spending a lot of time together. Maybe I just need to take a step back and think about what I really want. What happened? It was so easy up until recently. I haven't even heard from him at all either. Not even a "how u feeling?"