mixed emotions

I got a call earlier.  It was Jaime, he was almost in tears.  The Retard never showed up at the train stop last night where his mother was supposed to pick him up after work and he hasn't been heard from since.  They also had plans to spend time together tonight, since they haven't in two weeks but hasn't been able to get in touch with him.  His mother and Jaime called around hospitals and police stations and anyone who may have heard from him with no luck.  The Retard's best friend, China, (who's a snip away from being a tranny) did get a hold of a girl who said he had texted her early this morning looking for weed but when he pressed her for more information she stopped responding.  I tried my best to calm my friend's nerves but I wasn't sure what to hope for.  For Jaime's sake I hope nothings happened to The Retard.  I don't know if he'd ever get over it.  But if he's ok, it doesn't look good.  Why is he ignoring everyone's calls?  Especially Jaime's.

He vowed if nothing has happened to him he's through.  This is the last straw.  I woulda thought the last straw was the time he got a blow job from some random as revenge for Jaime not spending time with him to hang out with me months ago.  Jaime got a picture message depicting the act from a friend of The Retard's the next morning.  Jaime drove me to work and went on the whole ride how he was over it.  By the time I left work 9 and a half hours later they had "talked it out".  ...  mine is not to judge.  mine is not to judge.

Manipulation by threat of infidelity?  I would have hoped my friend smarter than that.

Gay man trapped in a lesbian's body?

I have a weird obsession with The L Word lately.  My friend's are threatening to strip me of my dick sucking card and Jaime's at the point of cringing whenever he hears the first few cords of that obnoxious (but infectious, like herpes) theme song.

Is this a little pervy?

So I've been engaging in a mild flirtation with Manuel for about a year now. Interesting story, during my foray into a career in education what feels like eons ago, Manuel was in my very first class I t.a.'ed for. He was a cute kid but there was never any kind of inappropriateness. I was the cool young faculty member, all the kid's loved me and came to me with a range of issues and problems. I spent a lot of my time reminding student's I didn't need to hear some of the intimate details they decided to share at times.

Now, 23, after bumping into Manuel while he was working as a stock boy for a grocery store we exchanged numbers and have been messaging each other back and forth pretty frequently. It started off innocently, after discussing out mutual orientations (funny, I knew he was gay before he did, when he was a sophomore in high school) we delved into flirty. He started telling me things like he wishes he would have known I was gay when I was teaching him and we could have been having lots of fun in the locker rooms when no one was around. Eww. ...kinda.

My "relationship" with Dante recently put the flirtation on hold. It hasn't gotten physical but since the breakup, Manuel and I have graduated to texting one another dick pics and beating off for one another via web cam. He's been trying to convince me to film our sex marathons when we finally do decide to hook up.

He's legal, and there's nothing inappropriate about the age difference now that everyone is of adult age but there's still a little part of it that's kinda "eh" about the whole thing. He was my student for three years. Am I crossing some kinda moral line here?

Best quote of the day

"You should write a cautionary tale to young girls warning them about the dangers of being like those little bitches on My Super Sweet Sixteen."  Jaime Schnuck

Skeletor Saves: A charity art show April 7, 2011

http://skeletorsaves.tumblr.com/

I'd jump on it, as long as he's not singing.

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"You got a little jizz on your pants."

...

... i'm at a loss for words.

Wow.

New trailer for Thundercat remake on cartoon network

Shut up and kick ass, you dirty WHORE!

Check out an interesting article regarding whether the movie Sucker Punch was empowering or exploitative to women from Film School Rejects here.

Nicole Scherzinger could shit on a plate and I'd probably eat that up too... and ask for seconds

Out of fucking left field...

Got an interesting message from The Retard this afternoon which is completely ironic in light of recent events, i.e. me and his boyfriend, my best friend, getting it on again.  Oops.  I haven't had any kind of interaction with him since two New Years ago when we last tried to be one happy family. I agreed to make an attempt for Jaime's sake but it was too much, too soon forced down my throat and during a heated argument with Jaime I suggested The Retard ask his boyfriend when the last time we fucked was. I didn't bother waiting for him to ask, I cheated and gave him the answer right away.  Two nights ago before our New Year's festivities. Jaime and I were pretty much estranged from that point on until our recent reconciliation.

Caught in a bad bromance?

I stirred awake around 5am this morning. Jaime and I passed out on the couch in front of the television after polishing off the thirty pack from the other night and a few bowls. We ended up not going to Tranny Bingo like we planned cause The Retard caught wind of our idea and decided to crash. Wasn't sure which of Jaime's reasons not to go after all trumped the other: The Retard retarding any fun we were hoping to have, or the bartender Jaime fucked behind his back working the night?  Mine is not to judge, mine is to sit back and enjoy the show.

Got another ear full on The Retard's bad behavior, how he doesn't appreciate Jaime and the efforts he makes for their relationship, how he act's like a girl, how annoying Jaime finds his transparent attempts to make everything a competition and about him and cries for attention. Jaime discussed how weird it was to be able to talk to me about The Retard but was glad he could. I told him I felt the same. I'm glad we've mended fences. Jaime's my best friend.

That being said I woke up this morning with his hard on in my hand. Still hazy from sleep I found myself stroking him through his jeans. It didn't take long for him to undo his pants so I pulled it out and started blowing him.

The basement comic book, video game and porn exchange

I got a message from Dante Saturday afternoon letting me know he reserved a table for Jun's show. I couldn't help notice he couldn't just say, "I want you to be there." Instead I got a "Jun will appreciate your support."  I can read between the lines. Jun's band (a mix of pop, blues, and folk) played a four song set opening for another artist at a venue up north last night. I was excited to go, but with everything going on between Dante and I, I decided it may be too soon for me to see him. I spent a lot of last week falling apart at the slightest reminder of my time with him.

"Get it out of your system and move on," has been my mantra lately. I don't want to derail any progress I've accomplished. Like I told Dante. "I told you I love you. I don't say that frivolously. I need time to get over it before I attempt to be your friend." With everything I went through with Jaime because of residual feeling I'm determined to not make the same mistake again. Dante is a great guy. Yes he has his flaws, but so do I. I just think that right now isn't the best time for us. I need to concentrate on myself, the next step in my career, my writing, my life, before I try to worry about making someone else happy.