It's not in my nature to spread my friend's business. It's not my place, nor is it my business to share. So when I feel the need to actually tell somebody something I've been told with deep confidence I do it after a lot of thought and a heavy heart. It's been less than a month since I ended things with Matt and so far we haven't had too many issues in trying to continue a friendship. I did notice how sometimes I feel like he puts on a little added show for my benefit whenever there's another guy in the room. "Look what I can do!" Especially if my attention is being spent on someone else. Hanging out with Matt and a friend of mine whose HIV positive made me realize just how dangerous a situation like that could be. I had to let Matt know my friend's status to ensure he didn't drunkenly make a mistake he could regret for the rest of his life.
What I don't appreciate is having that information thrown back at me and used in some pathetic vie for my attention. While celebrating my sister's birthday I get an urgent message from Matt asking for my friend's phone number. I inquire why he needed my friend's number and he states that he's scared he's with the guy who infected him. Now when I hear "with" I assume he means he knows him sexually, not as in his presence. I feel for Matt but still wonder aloud why he needs my friend's number because any mention of this would let him know I told my ex boyfriend about his positive status. Then I start getting messages from my friend wondering why my ex boyfriend is leaving him messages online stating he "desperately needs to talk to" him.
What. The. Fuck?
I spend the entire dinner trying to figure out how to handle all this while I have the added worry of Matt being with someone who may be HIV positive. Come to find out Matt meant he was hanging out with the guy in question but hadn't done anything with him. Then why the urgency? Why the desperate messages to both myself and my friend who he could have easily ruined my friendship with if he would have let it slip I told him?
Below is the chat transcript of my conversation with Matt the morning after his dramatic outburst.
11:51am
12:07pm
12:07pm
12:07pm
him - can i tell you everything that happened?
12:07pm
12:07pm
him - i cant (
he couldn't yesterday night as well which would have cleared everything up so easily)
12:07pm
12:07pm
him -okay
i went over to this guys house
ive been talking to him and i decided hes cool ill go over and chill with him he lives right by me anyways
i have a friend with the same last name as you!
and apparently they are enemys
12:09pm
and very few people like him
12:10pm
him - (my friend) had this dude beat up and whatever blah blah blah
12:10pm
me - he's rather abrasive in his personality
12:10pm
i go to this house and the second i step foot in there i know i am the most educated person in there
this guy max didnt make it past the 8th grade
12:10pm
12:10pm
12:11pm
me - u sure can pick em, huh?\
12:11pm
him - they are all puerto rican in there too
they are literally SCREAMING their conversations
BLASTING music whioe there is a sick grandma in the next room
12:11pm
me - lmao. thats puerto ricans for u
12:11pm
this is everything i was raised not to be yet i am here
max said him and (my friend) used to date many years ago
im not sure if we are talking about the same ____ becasue max is not smart
well he can write but there are a lot of mispellings and grammar errors
so since he didnt make it past the 8th grade its kindaobvious
i looked at him and he is 34 years old
he has stab wounds on the top of his head
where people have slashed him
12:16pm
me - how can u possibly help him out
12:17pm
him - i told him if he can get a job and pay for classes to get his GED i will tutor him when i can for free
ill teach him how t o read
12:17pm
me - i digress. continue with how this got about (my friends) status and involving me
12:17pm
this got involved with ____ because he said he knew him
i wasnt going to say anything else just ask him a question
and this got involved with you because i needed an educated life form
12:18pm
me - u made it seem like u knew this was the guy who infected him. how did u come to that conclusion?
12:18pm
him - and cuz your like my number one fan
12:18pm
me - im not ur number one fan dear
did u do anything sexually with this guy?
12:19pm
him - im not sure though and its not any of my business because im not planning on getting with this guy
12:20pm
me - so why did u feel the need for all the dramatics last night? even goin as far as to write (my friend). u made it seem like u slept with this guy and now u thought u were infected
12:20pm
i didnt sleep with him or made it seem like that
and i wasnt being dramatic to (my friend)
i felt really uncomfortable for a minute and i was texting you
and i didnt mean to be dramatic to anyone
im sorry i will think before i write next time
and dont feel like what you told me is ggoing to get you into shit
12:23pm
me - please do. i was worried. and (my friend) calls me all bent outta shape wondering wat u could possibly need to talk to him so urgently about
its not. cause all i did was look out for my friend
12:23pm
him - i wouldnt ever open up my mouth to anyone about that ever
12:24pm
me - if it ever comes out thats wat i will tell him
12:24pm
12:24pm
me - that the only reason i told u is because i felt u may need to know.
but i also know (my friend)
12:25pm
him - i know but i wasnt interested in him like that
12:25pm
me - he's overly dramativ and holds grudges
and he's already pissy with me about the whole dante thing
12:25pm
im sorry but dante seems way into himself
and im not saying that because im jealous
but even when we were boyfriends he was all over you
12:26pm
me - u dont even know him in the very least
12:26pm
him - nor would i want to after the little that i do
12:26pm
me - we were nt boyfriends that night until u saw us together
12:26pm
him - it doesnt really matter
12:26pm
me - in fact im pretty sure tthats the only reason we got together. lol
12:27pm
i know im just telling you he'll stab you in the back if it comes to the point of you or him
but on to the next topic lol
12:27pm
how do u even come to a conclusion like that about someone u know nothing about?
whatever u heard from ____ remember to take with a grain of salt because _____ is pissed cause dante didnt want him
12:28pm
him - certain types of people have certain types of patterns
and all i will concerning this topic
im not saying anything else about him
12:29pm
im gonna go do something elsewhere now. ill talk to you later
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